There and Back Again – Similan Islands

Similan Islands? No, not in Hokkien (In Hokkien, it is…. What Testicles Islands… ). Similan Islands is not a chain of giant buoyant testicles floating west of Thailand. It is a chain of beautiful island nestled in crystalline waters west of Khao Lak. One of the last few beautiful gems in Thailand, they are open for visits only from the months of November till April. An attempt in conservation, an attempt to keep the coral reefs intact. Anyone can get there to a tune of THB2,000 for a one day trip, the journey beginning from the piers in a town within Khao Lak by the name of Tahplamu (Thap-la-mu). Getting to Khao Lak in a crowded van from Phuket will set you back by another THB500. You gotta get there early, the only boat leaves at 9. And so we took off in our rented Accord, don’t want no crowded van.



Unlike Singapore, if you did walk into any military facility you did be shouted and probably shot, here in Thailand, we just waltz into the naval base where it doubles as a pier for passengers boarding the speed boat ride to testicle islands….. I mean Similan. The journey took a good hour and a half, all heads on board dozing off left and right. The braless Caucasian in her so loose top puke herself all over. And as she waggled her way to the toilet, all the passengers were treated to a show of swaying papayas. It was enjoyable.



There are two types of waters in Thailand. Most will be green, but Similan is blue. It was snorkeling time and into the waters we went. Swimmers or not, we went in. And some were swept by the strong currents to far far away. Be warned on such trips, stay around your boat. And keep your head up constantly. For anyone not familiar with trips like these, be told now that the sea is not your private backyard. Boats will come and go and can run you down unaware. So please wear bright yellow bikini or trunks. Or stick a flashing torchlight up your ass. Be a beacon in the so blue waters.


Dare to bare, even the Asians did. In our conservative bringing up, this is not the norm. But they did. And they swam free topless in the ever blue inviting waters. Borderless, free to sway and unbounded. Perky but well tanned Asian flesh. I would love to see my friends doing that someday.




And to Donald Duck Island we headed. Someone put a large rock the shape of a duck on top a rocky hill (just a matter of speech, no one could have put it there). And so came the name the Island was christened. Further up hill, some one else put a very large rock precariously balanced right at the top. And so we were invited to climb to that rock, young old male and female. Unaware of the treacherous journey, we went, barefooted! On damped soil we stepped, on sharp rocks we made our feet gripped. I ain’t no monkey but the crossing I must make. Some passage required us to hold on to ropes to go around large rocks, the plummet to oblivion a possibility. We were all instant professional cliffhangers. And so atop the hill next to the well balanced rock, the view was beyond words (probably because scared until balls gone and no words can come out from mouth). Crowd control was never present. An accidental nudge will cause someone to cliff dive into cliffs. But no one cared, this is Thailand. We did the ritual of putting sticks to support the rock, in a testicular believe … I mean Similan believe that our wish will come true as long as our stick holds the rock in place.


The trip, one of my never ending crusade to visit all the nice islands of Thailand. My journey continues.

Full photo sets here under Similan Nov 2009.

Brown Water Rafting

The long distance drives, an ever enjoyable part of the occasional holiday, the perks of living and working in Thailand. So many places and will one ever be done with all of Thailand? A couple of months back, gig and band of giggling squeaky friends decided to go white water rafting. Meaning many more squeaks and screams that pierce the tranquility of nature.


The business all started when some bored farangs long ago decided to engage in adrenaline pack activities within the peaceful life of the river dwelling folks. Then the local Thais, some ever so bursting with the spirit of entrepreneurship (aka…. desperate, must squeeze money from every possible idea), these white water rafting operations catering to the mundane lives of Thais popped up wherever the rivers looks dangerous. Phitsanulok is voted as one of the best places to engage in these lets-try-to-terminate-our-lives activities. The river is so much wilder compared to the others, I was told by the folks. With the arrival of rainy season starting after May, the brown water churns the excitement notch up depending on rainfall. The operator, a mid fifties aunty who happen to own a plot of land with a beaten hut along the river, advised always to call them a day before to check on conditions for sometimes there will be no rain, the river will be flat. And sometimes with too much rain, no one will dare to bring a bunch of inexperienced screamers down the river. Especially so if one knows the shoddy natures of such operators, anyone who had been on the river can be qualified as a guide, no certification, no proper safety or rescue training.


The kid who took me to all the spots where I snapped away as the dingy splashed and spun about arrived, he told me on occasions he too lead groups down the winding waterway. How it all started I asked. He said he learned from relatives after a few trips himself with them. The journey began …. anywhere I guess. It was a shady spot picked beside a bridge, the century old tree tall and filtering the sunlight. One will be given a short 10 minutes course on safety, what to do when you fall off the raft and how to row and such. But they never did tell you what if you fall off, got your one foot stuck in rocks and the powerful water push onto your body and snaps your shinbone like a twig (ok…. I have riverphobia….). A short training and it was expected everyone could row in synchronism. Imagine a panic crab with all legs attempting to move in all different directions within the same space-time.


The adventure began and so I drove all over with my kid guide to all accessible spots he could find. Slippery rocks, I jumped, skidded and skipped, gravel roads, my Volvo attempted to be 4WD. And so I asked about the raft, it was imported I was told. And what about repairs and such as tears will be inevitable with years of usage? Is there an authorized branch abouts there run by farangs or so to carry out the repairs? And he said “No, we use the glue……” .


It was near to two hours, the raft floated down the last peaceful leg of the river at six in the evening. Arrived on shore, the aunty brought us ice cold coffee. She was a kind person, Thai Chinese, and even prepared us a moo-ka-tak (BBQ pork) dinner waiting complementary. It was only during later when we ate did we discover the pork was green. That ain’t no complementary dinner, that was leftover probably they could not finished the day before. Stingy Chinese…..


The raft was left to dry in the shed, we had our sleep in the so hard beds. It was morning, it was time to return to Bangkok. Along the bends the rubber was left to sun bake. The folks supplement their income as rubber tappers. Lunched on the floating eatery as we gazed onto the brown river. It was an experience, yet another first. Into the raft I did not however, I did not want to fall over and go crouch first onto protruding rocks hidden in the white waters. Star rating for the resort? If only there are meteor ratings that I would give.

The Hidden Bangkok

You could be driving along and turn into a street you never did in Bangkok, and wooo yeah. Heaps of scantly dressed ladies with their bosoms so revealing telepathically communicating with your groin. Smiling in the shadows between street lights, the tigress knocks on your windows as you cruised at a snail’s paced by. You could have them for 1000 a night. The topic ain’t about this… hehe.


You could be driving along and turn into a street you never did in Bangkok, and … be greeted by the most remarkable view you had ever seen while in Bangkok. A field of sunflowers, dead in the middle of nowhere, in a period you know Sunflower seasons ain’t suppose to be. Amazing Thailand.

Koh Rok

The seas south of Thailand are like an ocean scattered randomly with gems. Koh Rok, one of the most distant islands south of Phuket and Koh Lanta is the furthest the operators will go without turning the trip into a sea sick torture adventure. The journey will take an hour and there are two island surrounded by emerald waters abundant with sea life for one to snorkel around in.


Being on a virgin trip to Koh Lanta, I booked the trip directly from the operator booth located next to the beach in Cha Da. Bad mistake. The opening price of $1400 was knocked to only $1300 and I took it. Only to realize later then when in the town of Sala Dan, I could get a similar trip for as good as $800.




A favorite haunt that I frequent for coffee or that ice cold lemonade is called Cat Fish Restaurant. They have plenty of cats there. As I spoke Thai to the friendly old lady, she told me of the $800 trip to Koh Rok, special price for people roo-jaik-gan (who know each other on the island). She could have gotten me that but I had already took on the one in Cha Da, bait line sinker and all.


The town of Sala Dan is dotted with a number of tour operators. In Cha Da where I curiously asked for car rental, I was offered $2000 per day for a pick-up and they had no other smaller vehicles. But in Sala Dan, the Suzuki was only going for $1000 ($1200 for Farangs the operator said discreetly).


And onto Koh Rok I went in the morning, to be the first passengers we were as the speed boat fetched the passengers from one beach to the other. The sea was rough and we ain’t going full speed as the pilot throttled up and down riding the swelling ridges and moving valleys created by the enchanting blue ocean.




The journey an hour long and could had been shorter on a better day. We reached anyway and were released into the inviting green waters on the west of the island pair. In the bay the sheltering effects was a good thing, preventing us from being swept away west and be collected in pieces on Indian shores.


Lunch was served simple, we had Thai food. Each lined up to scoop our servings and ventured off in our own directions to gorge under shades as the hermit crab scrambles into the crevices between roots of trees.




The wind caught up without warning and darkness gloomed at a distance sinisterly. In a time frame less then a third of an hour the boats sped away leaving us in wonder. Not long later the storm touched shores, the sun bright day had bleak down in rain, our mood turned a wee bit sour.






As the rain lightened with about thirty ticks of the minute, the shower gentle but still the waters churned in anger. My day shall not be ruin, I fear you not swirling waters. And so many ventured in, one by one with me joining the order. Surprisingly the water was pleasingly warm in contrast to the air so breezy, at a distance the roar of thunder. The waves broke shore with strength, my heavy ass the anchor. I win.


The day ended near 2 pm, we had snorkeled 3 bays in total. We galloped the high seas back to Lanta which took more then an hour. The body tired, the sun burn was impending. I soaked my self on the steps, I sipped my coffee with the room to my back. I enjoyed my day, the breeze was on, but darn, the squeaky screams of toddlers.

Click here for full photo sets under Lazing in Lanta Mar 2009.

Lazing in Lanta

And there I sat in the after light of the sunset contemplating. This will be my final holiday for now and shall be uncertainly long before I have the next. A package again I bought about a year ago during the Thai travel fair. Business was still rolling then and I had no troubles buying a break. Business is really bad this year and so at the fair just 2 weeks ago, I could only drool and dream. No more good relaxing holidays for me as there I sat concluding sadly.




Cha Da, located north east of Koh Lanta Yai is proclaimed to be one of the top 3 destinations on the island. This resort had two large pools visible form Google Earth. One of which I never dipped in lay further west near the beach, and the other made for rooms with pool access nested inland. There are a couple of different rooms offered but the highlight of this resort has to be the Gold Suite (having pool access). Having my own private waterfront meant a place to berth my whale of a body anytime I wanted when the heat got too extreme. Sitting on the steps half soaked enjoying a cold Heineken as the sun shone fiercely on the cool blue waters was exquisite. On one night the weather was hot, windless and humid. I stopped my copious flow of perspiration by sipping cold apple juice soaking in the same manner. Again, my thoughts if only everyday could be like that.




To get there, I got on the minivan service offered as part of the package. When the driver was asked on the travel time, he could only answer that it will take 1 hour to get to the pier. Beyond that, the timing was unpredictable. As no bridges links mainland to Koh Lanta Yai, we had to get on 2 vehicle ferry services across to Koh Lanata Noi and onto Koh Lanta Yai. If we had arrived during the peak season where both Thais and Farangs are a plenty during the New Year months, it could take as long as three hours just for queues. Since we will never know when chaos will set on the barges used for decades or we could never predict if there will be sudden mass human short term migration onto the island, he rather not speculate on the exact time it will take to get to Cha Da.


I had fish and chips on first arrival 3 in the afternoon after a 2 hours ride. It was large fishes swimming in sea of chips delivered. Definitely worth the 300 Baht it cost as the servings was made for that of the Farang. On some nights the restaurants offered buffet which was only satisfactory to the taste buds but very fair for the wallet. I would recommend for one to use the vouchers on the Ala Carte instead for the orders were generous in servings and the taste on a different level compared to mass cooked food. One advice I have on dining in Cha Da, bring your own mosquito repellent. On the first night, there was no breeze after a short rain. I had a hundred flying insects joining me for dinner sticking onto my sweaty arms and legs. On other nights, my legs were mosquito food in between sporadic occurrence of cool sea breezes. And the breakfasts were conveniently a buffet everyday and I had issues with their Dim Sums. The Siew Mai (Chinese meat dumplings) could be used as a ball replacement in a squash game and it could outlast the best squash ball ever made to last. The bacon was overdone tasting and having a texture like beef jerky. The rest of the spread were fine, I gave my thumbs 85% up on Cha Da food and 100% on the attentiveness and politeness of staffs.


Koh Lanta Yai is a very long island with about three large stretches of beach westwards for one to explore. This trip for me, no car rental. I am having a very bad economic crisis in my wallet and the GDP in my bank account is negative. So I spent my days only in the resort and the town called Sala Dan just a kilometer or two away. The sandy beaches front of Cha Da big and wide, the sand however not at all white. I was greeted by the color brown, to be stirred into a Milo shake as the sea broke the shore. The water ain’t clear on Lanata, it was definitely not Nai Harn of Phuket.


Though this ain’t no Phuket, the Farangs still flocked there in hordes, it was Swedish galore at Cha Da. I had no idea what’s with their country, but it seemed to me they are in a hurry to breed and over take the world. The Swedish occupation of Cha Da involved about 90% families with two to three screaming toddlers. The morning breakfast in the dining hall was more like a nursery gone wrong. Of the hundred or so occupancy, there were only three Thai clusters inclusive of me.

I turn my head to the east, I see screaming toddlers to my side,
I turn my head to the west, still the toddlers in sight,
So I turn my head to the north, want to purchase a pill called cyanide….

Just a joke about the cyanide thing… he he. Anyways, I asked the reception what’s with the Swedish spawning season. Was informed Cha Da had always been Swede occupied most of the time. There is a big agency in Sweden promoting the resort as a family destination with heaps of kiddy activities while the parents romance their time away. On everyday in the pool clad paradise, I saw different white rabbit or orange kola mascots entertaining the screaming sound machine toddlers so invasive to the chirps of birds and soothing sounds of breaking waves.


As I walked in the violet evening light in Sala Dan seeking out fresh seafood, Farangs, more Farangs and so many more Farangs. Strange it is how there exist hidden zoning factions in Thailand, like Bang Sean is mainly for Thais, but Pattaya will all be Farangs. Lanta? At least for the part I was in north west – Farang’s Zone.


To get around from Cha Da, there were “two rows” parked waiting front of the hotel. It cost 50 Baht per pax standard to get to the nearest town of Sala Dan. It cost only 40 Baht for Thais to get back.


And what breed of taxis were on Lanta? That of which was made of motorcycle with a passenger carrying rack woven together on a third wheel. Between clicks of gear change, the sun basked mid twenties driver told us about the upcoming Songkran, which will last only a day compared to Bangkok’s one week of wet t-shirts and wild fun. This is Muslim island he said, and Muslim not like wet and wild, Allah not like. The driver said he rents his service out for three hours at 300 Baht, one giant tank of water and maybe up to three Farangs. Around the towns he will go, as the Farang will play the Songkran.


And so I spent a 3 nights in Cha Da like any typical Asian, while the Farangs I knew from conversations heard had been there a whole 2 weeks and some even more. How you Farangs managed it I envy so much, as I believe yours will be a true holiday compared to the short Asian try-to-pack-everything-in-4-days style of travel. We Asians often end up more tired after a holiday then a working week. We don’t have the privilege of time-off-work on our hands like you do, we could only envy. However this trip round I lazed like you do (actually crisis in wallet) and I got to really rest my mind just waddling around the pool and doing nothing compared to how I would normally set off on exploration and cataloging the Island like the first man from the sea do. I had rested a plenty and am now back in Bangkok, my working holiday continues, the stress from bad business I am not immune.


These are the Emerald Suites, nothing much to them, no pool access.


Pool access rooms, otherwise known as Gold Suite.


I have heard of Crop Circles… but never heard of Crab Circles. The whole beach was just full of them.


A fat village cat in Sala Dan.


An island south of Koh Lanta I visited known as Koh Rok. Will blog about it soon.

Click here for full photo sets under Lazing in Lanta Mar 2009.