Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Holes of Thai Roads


These are the things that make your wheel break away nicely in unpredictable direction. Road repair takes forever in Thailand and so, when driving on un-chartered roads you never been before, always watch out for the holes. Drive slow, or let the car behind take over and follow his pace at a distance. He could be more familiar then your irritatingly slow car. Watch him closely and if he goes airborne, brake hard. One fine day, I finally understood why their existence. I saw cows drinking from these water filled holes after the rain.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Naga Fireballs

From various sources on the internet:

The Naga fireballs are a phenomenon seen in the Mekong river - in Thailand (Nong Khai province and Isan) and in Laos - in which glowing balls rise from depths. The balls are reddish in colour and about the size of an egg; they rise a couple of hundred meters before disappearing. The number of fireballs is variable, being reported at between tens and thousands per night.

The fireballs have been seen for centuries and are most often reported around the night of Wan Awk Pansa - the end of the Buddhist rains retreat - in October, although displays have also been reported in March, April, May, June and September. It is speculated by Scientist that during particular periods of the year, the full moon will cause methane to be released from the sediments in the river. This rising methane gas upon emerging out form the water then ignites when mixed with the atmosphere resulting in the fireballs witnessed by the public. Mythological beliefs interpret these fireballs as steps for the Buddha to descend from the heavens.

Hmmmm .. very intriguing. I think this October on a full moon night, I will fart in the swimming pool in an attempt to replicate the phenomenon. I want to see if my fart turns into fireball or not. If not I will just make a lot of farting gaseous balls and maybe, just maybe, a passing owl will descend (fall dead) from the sky.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Hot Springs Beach Resort


I was in paradise, The Hot Spring Resort in Phang Nga. A lesser known paradise north of Phuket but still, stunning beaches and tranquility. The Tsunami of 2004 had devastated her, but she was quickly rebuilt and restored to her former glory. It was not easy to get to this heaven as she was nested deep within the unknown roads of Phang Nga. A destination popular with the Asian crowd I was told, as she was mostly promoted in countries like Japan, Taiwan and China. The Thai holiday makers were scarce in this hidden jewel of idyllic serenity. It is the only resort that has her own natural hot springs, a destination to break stress and detune your busy life to the pace of slow waters gently flowing as run offs by the side of the emerald pool.


It was the mob season and so we read that many tourists had cancelled their travel plans Most of the hotels in this region and others suffered a huge dip in business. To me, it meant having the whole resort almost to ourselves. A normally packed weekend with only 4 bookings. A normally packed season with less then 10% occupancy rate. How else was I able to take those pictures with so little people in it? The normal buffet breakfast had to be turned a la cart style. The restaurant by the beach was closed for economic reasons. It was peace to our benefit. I see it as a small stroke of luck. The loud chats and proud talks of Chinamen were absent.


Almost all resorts in Thailand will exhibit their own special spa courses. The experiences vary and I would call them a good con for most. These so-called spas normally can be interpreted as ultra expensive massages fifteen times the price of a good two hour rub in the normal massage parlous of Bangkok, at a quarter of the expected skill set. But here, I finally found the difference. We had thirty minutes to ourselves in the hot therapeutic pool, bits and pieces of aromatic drifty bits in the water. With our energy sapped out by the warmth and our spirit drowsed down into a lethargic cloud of drowsy soul, we laid on the massage beds and enjoyed one and half hours of exceptional rubs, twist and squeezes. It was poles apart form the con type spas I had in the other so called resorts. You just gotta try it. The sleep on the night of the spa felt like I had never slept in years. The morning after the energy I had was fresh like the first rays of sun. Superb.


The jetty that led to the promised beach was there. The beach that was supposed to be was not. The jetty ended abruptly and so we asked. The season had been strange after the tsunami years. The storms had been odd. They washed the sands away overnight, the beach that once was had gone. But on some good seasons the sands accumulate, and the promised beach was there. A grand wedding party was recently held, the newly weds walked the sands that were present. The owner had wanted to show me the photos just to convince me there really was a beach.


It was a bad season, it was bad business. It was Thais killing their own business which was yet another trait of never thinking of consequences. As you work with Thais you will know by majority count that they have the inherent attribute of short foresight. This season the mannerism exhibited on a grand scale. This is why we have mostly foreigners filling critical positions in most companies. We try our best to pass down the proficiency of envision. I am teaching, they are learning, but however most are not. It was a great holiday nevertheless.









Full photo set at cllim.com under Phang Nga Sep 2008.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Downtown Thai Roads


Thai roads are a nightmare for foreigners. It is very common for us to be driving in the wrong direction. Road direction changes according to time of day, bus lanes are opened to traffic from X to Y time, some lanes changes direction during period X, can’t turn left or right into soi from X to Y time, traffic to turn right at cross junction blocked, U-turn blocked, lane blocked, road blocked and Z marks the spot where you hand a fine to the police. There are many makeshift signs put up along the roads, especially in downtown areas. I was on the left most lane one morning behind a bus when I saw a wooden sign with scribbling at the lane’s edge in middle of road. Traffic was a standstill and there came the brown police, always in his fake Ray Ban shades. He looked at me and pointed across the sign. About 15 seconds passed without any brain activity within my skull. Then he showed his big eyeballs and pointed across the sign from left to right at almost 10 swipes per second with his index finger. His eyes grew very very big when I realized I must be doing something wrong and therefore decided to edge out onto the next lane. It is assumed by all traffic authorities, that all foreigners can read Thai.

Bus lane… one other day, again these signs are in Thai writings. So the police stopped me at the junction and the first thing I did was put my hands together and said in as lousy a Thai as I could “sarrrr wat deee cup”. He looked through my documents and then started shooting away that I can speak Thai because I have a Thai license. I tried as best I could not to break character and smile at him holding my “I England Only” stand. For your info… the Thai driving test can be conducted in English as an option for foreigners. Unlike Singapore’s Traffic Police Force which lives by the rules of “Ignorance is not an Excuse” or “I didn’t get laid yesterday nite and so I will take it out on you” plus “I got a big butt plug forcefully shoved up my arse now so don’t mess with me” or “ants are chewing my testis so don’t fu*k with me”, he was a kind policeman and smiling as he explained to me as best as he could about bus lanes rules. Coz… I had to pay for the lesson… but I paid the fine happily and he even gave me proper directions to my destination Hotel.

I now learned that certain bus lanes downtown can be used by cars only during 6pm to 6am. I have however, still not learned how to identify these bus lanes.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Traffic Lights of Thailand

Again another example of – it is assumed that all foreigners have some extraordinary abilities to somehow read Thai. What the sign says? Turn left on green? Wait for green to turn left? Cannot turn left? The turn left light is on the floor? What??? Something quite sure is, turn left blur blur and pay the police. The police will tell you the answer.

Ok.. I share.. signs like these means, wait for green to turn left. If this sign is not present, I think you can turn left without waiting. Or, turn left right center u-turn anyway at any junction you want, traffic rules don’t really exist here.