Thai Trekin

The Residence Hua Hin

2012-01-07T09:18:00.001+07:00

Jacuzzi in a 2 bedroom villa.

Not the typical hotels that are aplenty lining parallel to the shoreline of Cha-Am and Hua Hin, but more like a cluster of two and three bedroom villas cuddled up in the middle of scorched farmlands within the vicinity of a few also scorched hills. Getting there requires some intuitive navigation skills and some phone calls to the resort as cows passed by your car on the local roads that you will be lost.

Stumbling into cows while driving local roads.

Coordinates 12°38'22.64"N, 99°55'16.46"

The Residence Hua Hin, is located next to Stamford University. However, unlike the university that could afford a large piece of land thus the strategic entrance from the main Phet Kasem road, entry to The Residence Hua Hin is from Hua Hin Soi 6, pass a railway track and through many villages inland that requires some driving. The villas are single storey bungalows toned orange brown enclosed by bamboo fence that's too low for any privacy comfort. So one could not skinny dip into the small Jacuzzi so inviting out front of the every villa on a hot day's night. The villas are all very spacious, a few of which have three bedrooms with the rest made up of two bedrooms units. In fact it is so spacious that if your friends bring along their own sleeping bags, you could sleep well over ten just in the living room. However, the air conditioners have aged and took a long time to cool the room down. So for the first half of the night, your slumber will be an episode between waking up to scratch unknown number of mosquitoes bites and restless naps before one can finally hibernate in the so thick comforter shielding one from the abundant pest.

Three bedrooms Villa.

Two bedrooms villa.

The Kings sized bed, is actually made up of two rather hard mattresses. You will roll over the hard ridge in your sleep on the bed I think intended for people with back problems. It's too rigid for my preference and I truly did not enjoy my sleep at all, waking up a dozen time looking at the clock hoping morning will come soon. Breakfast, I wished they could have done better for the price that one has to pay. Limited in selection and equivalent to two star motel quality which I frequent on my upcountry work trips. Dinner, again a disappointment on my end. Fish & Chips - Cod coated in delicious batter served with French Fires and salad the menu stated. And so I ordered with high expectations on the taste of a true English Fish & Chips reminiscence of my childhood which I had so many. Now the batter was good, but the Cod is not a Cod. It was some fishy tasting thin slab of local shallow water fish. So, don't ever ever ever ever order the Fish & Chips here. It ain't chip either.

Villas enclosed in low fence.

Spacious interior.

Showering in the villas expect some surprises. Well, there's a huge bathtub one could onzen in the bathroom and that's a plus point. Water pleasantly heated will be available and the flow is strong so no minus points on that too. Draining the tub, my bathroom was flooded from the water oozing out from the other drainage hole driving up scores of black scum accompanied by an appalling smell which infiltrated into the bedroom. No more onzen for me after my first try. Maintenance on the clogged drainage had been neglected in the villas and I wonder if they knew. Big minus point.

The big swimming pool.

Restaurant by pond where breakfast is served.

If it is a quite place one is looking for to be with a number of friends to get away from Bangkok, then The Residence Hua Hin is one good idea. Since it is spacious and large, taking on a three bedroom unit will allows for six or more guest. Chilling out to wine and snacks chattering the night away. Holding that cold beer in the Jacuzzi amongst laughter of friends soaking. Away from the packed beach pubs and noisy hotels lining the shoreline, this will be the place for you. However, if you come along with great expectation on the F&B, the quality of sleep matching the price, then one will truly be disappointed. Impression neutral I have, but nevertheless over these New Year holidays, rested my mind somehow I had.

Winter in a Tropical Island - Koh Mak

2011-12-26T09:21:00.000+07:00

Koh Mak, the clear waters.

Getting there to Laem Ngop, 6 hours if you drive really slow.

Parking at THB 60 per night.

This island, Koh Mak, smack in the middle of Ao Thai ocean between Koh Chang and Koh Kood. A journey there will take 4 hours by car to reach the various ferry terminals within Laem Ngop in the province of Trat, so start your journey early. Over at Laem Ngop, on an unnamed jetty, there are speed boat operators offering the sea crossing for hotel staffs on Koh Mak at only THB 350, and for the public at THB 450. They also offer parking lots in private housing for you to leave your cars at THB 60 per night. Now, these boats are not the normal slow massive ferries crossing to Koh Chang. These are fast sea vessels guaranteed at making you regurgitate your food out all over the 16 or so rather comfortable seating under the white canvas canopy shielding you from the sun. It was hell of a ride for me as the December sea was rough. The boat had to continually retard the on the throttle and yet attempt to make the crossing in under 45 minutes. It's the monsoon now and we had to slam through the waves instead of cutting smoothly across clam waters. My testicles swapped positions after the ride.

A pier at Koh Mak where we arrived.

The long beach of Haad Khao.

There are a few beaches on Koh Mak. You wouldn't know which beach you did be arriving on but not to worry, the island has a network of local roads and your hotel will pick you up in a truck. We stayed on Haad Khao which means white beach. The sand ain't white on this wide gentle beach stretching laterally east west, but the waters are clam with very gentle waves offering us sunbathers a relaxing swim. We could float around face up without a struggle and be one with the horizon. The waters not churned is clear this season, see them crabs crawling and the occasional small fishes darting. I love Haad Khao, with the winter sun low, we enjoyed both orange sunrise and radiant sunsets in full view.

The shallow waters.

Sunrise in cold December mornings.

Winter I mentioned, whatever winter am I talking about? This is a tropical island, but December offered contrastingly cold mornings. Every morning, we woke to the sound of bristling trees swaying about in the breeze, it was the music of nature. It was 19 degrees centigrade as the sun rose and I clicked away on me shutter. In double clothing I was in, the wind chill I fought. The cleaners were out early, they comb the beaches keeping her pristine.

Bungalows of Baan Chailay.

Local road entrance to resort.

I stayed in Baan Chailay, about 4 to5 bungalows she has. Easy on me pocket, it cost THB 1,200 and we could sleep three. The air conditioner old, but it was cold. Need it actually we don't, the weather was pleasant. Hot showers in ground water pumped from below we bathed. The water was more of a trickling, and it smelt but hey, I ain't complaining for this price. Breakfast served simple, American or that Khao Tom (boiled rice) went well with the self served instant coffee. We were the only Asians accompanied by a number of elderly Caucasian folks politely chatting. Seated on wooden chairs and over our food laden tables, the feel was easy and homey. I had my 3 strips of bacon in the yellow sunlight accompanied by eggs, bread and butter.

Canoes for rental.

As the hours passed, the sky was a deep blue interrupted by bright white clouds . Still, the relentless breeze blowing. Our scheduled snorkeling trip costing THB 500 per pax was repeatedly delayed hourly since 10am. The sea beyond was too rough and the air too cold. We could have had ourselves a private boat at THB1,500, but it had been already been fully taken up by all the Farangs told we were. Being on Koh Mak during the monsoon season, expect travel plans to be altered. Our trip was eventually cancelled and the operators were worried how they were to deal with them Farangs who came on packaged tour. Nevertheless, we went on to an island opposite our beach known as Koh Rayang Nok.

Koh Rayang Nok.

Beach chairs.

White sands on a rather limited beach.

Koh Rayang Nok offered a small white beach with a few beach chars tastefully placed near the shoreline. Coming onto this island is not free, cost THB 200 for "entry". You could get your snorkeling gear form the lone restaurant operating on this island but the December seas were too strong for me. I do not want to drift away to Cambodia so I just sat on the sand whiter than that on Haad Khao on Koh Mak. That's where we also decided to have out very late lunch, not too tasty and a rather bit pricey. And as when one wishes, just tell the boat operator and you will be on your 10 minutes journey back onto Koh Mak.

Wind surfers during sunset.

Local roads to restaurants.

As evening approaches the cats were out playing. The dogs swam and we tourist strolled along passing the many small decent and simple resorts spaciously spread on Haad Khao. At times, we had the whole beach to ourselves. At times we had to avoid being hit by the beach ball so franticly chased by the sweaty young beach boys playing out front of their resorts. Dinner can be offered by a few restaurants located along the main road hidden behind by all the idyllic accommodations along this beach. Don't expect a gastronomical feast on these joints, they offer only decent simple meal masquerading behind artful names.

Chilling out the night.

Sofas on the breezy beach.

After dinner, there's a only-pub-on-this-beach place you could go to the locals called a Reggie Pub. Its well known to have a once a month Full Moon Party similar to that on Koh Phangan. There will be a live band and I could see that the lead singer was attempting his best to please the Farang crowd. We could not understand a single word of all the easy-listening songs he was bringing to us such. Stand By Me became Can By Me, Missing You became Meeing You . Alternatively to avoid the ear torture, we could just chill the night out over BYO whisky on the sofa set on the beach. Just make sure you order that soda, coke or French Fries from the cocktail stand serving the area. They are there to make a living after all and won't be pleased with you taking up the comfy seats free. It seemed we had the whole beach to ourselves again that night, only our laughter, cheers and chatter filled the windy night air. As we drank that last drop under the star lit skies, we walked the 10 meters back to our bungalows and shut down in anticipating of the beautiful sunrise the next morning.

Gentle waves.

So private.

Koh Mak in December, cool weather on contrasting sunny beach. A quiet place giving you the privilege of having the beach and turquoise waters all to yourself at times. Be warned though, oil yourself heavy in insect repellent. I am now sore with more than 20 or so ugly looking blistering sand fly bites. Locals had told me unlike Koh Kood and the more commercial Koh Chang nearby, Koh Mak does not spray their beaches with pesticides. The waters on Haad Khao will be still and only agitated by passing speed boats. The windsurfers takes to the waters and the power kites the cuts the breezy air. The simplicity of this island, the solitude and the clean air is a comeback that I must. Till we meet again.

Taking on Samui Roads

2011-09-24T13:50:00.001+07:00

The good point of having a car on Samui is that one will not be restricted in coverage , bounded by an invisible barrier limited by the range covered by "two-rows" (truck taxis) that one can hop on. And they ain't cheap just for hopping from Chaweng to Lamai or the surrounding areas. I had discovered this stretch of beach facing the sunset. Takhoe is the name of the restaurant and I remembered the food was great and cheap. In contrast to the farang filled stylish restaurants on Chaweng, I was dining among the locals sipping Hundred Pipers with the soda or Coke. We came a wee bit late and missed the setting sun, the waitress told us we should have come earlier when the beach was shimmering in warm tones of orange and red. Didn't want no sand flies to jab into my foot and lay its entire family in there, so for all I would suggest - bring your insect repellent.

Takhoe place is well known for its very weird food. Away from the realm of common seafood, we had jungle mushrooms of some sort accompanied by healthy brown rice which health freaks find it ok but for me felt like chewing on dried straws I feed to my rabbit. Dining on the white weathered plastic chairs sprawled on the sandy beach, the condiments included one of the tastiest Kapi (prawn paste in chill) specially baked on coconut husk which not everyone could stomach. Normally I don't take on these weird dishes guaranteed to cause unusual lingering breath for hours, but this Kapi was something extraordinary.

Coordinates 9°34'40.53"N, 99°56'34.10"E for your reference.

On my previous blogs, I had mentioned of dining up the mountains in a place called Paradise Park. Well again, Samui is not just about the sun, sea and beach. Driving inlands heading up the mountains guided by very poor maps, I had stumbled on The Mountain Grand View Restaurant & Swimming Pool. This restaurant, they tried their best to offer guest a dip in their infinity pool which has one of the best Samui's view, but I don't think anyone would want to dip in the neglected algae infested very green waters. Pool on Samui and what comes to mind is farangs heaps basking in the sun, but I guessed this place is a challenge to find and therefore the desolation.

No guest was there and we had the whole place to ourselves. It became not economically viable to maintain the pool water and so I suppose its purpose now is a giant bird bath, a frog breeding pond or a tourist trip over and fall into water trap. Other than that aside, enjoying a cup of coffee or cooling down that cocktail accompanied by the mountain breeze with an incredible view of the distant horizon makes the trip up worthwhile.

Just watch out for the land slide areas on the way up which ate up half of the road. We were told that the weather these late years had been extreme and Samui had been trying their best to cope with fighting nature.

Coordinates 9°28'42.60"N, 99°59'49.20"E for your reference.

Here's a restaurant that offers quite a feast, not too local and reasonably priced, the crowd is a mix of locals, farangs and mosquitoes . Offering the standard range of cholesterol laden tasty Thai seafood dishes is Sabienglae Restaurant. Its located in between Lamai and Chaweng not too difficult to find. Expect the place to be packed as it is quite well known. I was not too impressed by the dinner but I would rather not risk driving into the dark mountain roads in the night and have my hungry carcass discovered in a Vios at the bottom of a landslide scene. Coordinates 9°27'11.33"N, 100° 2'10.74"E for your reference.

As you cruise the coastal roads and ascend the hills of Samui, one does come across many little spots of pleasant settings so inviting for a chill-chill (Thai slang for chill out time). Appeal of all kinds from contemporary back to rustic rural and pure simple offers a choice too many for the curious soul of an explorer. Amongst that which I mentioned, food for the belly, we scaled the hundred steps up into the temple overlooking the airport, and shopped the weekend night market of Lamai.

And as we tire we had our cocktails by the fiery night beach nearby. Just driving, maneuvering corners and watch that endless horizon revealing up as we rolled on over the top of the hill is already an episode of endorphin in my warm bloodstream.

Full photo sets here under Samui Aug 2011.

Getting to Samui the Cheaper Way

2011-09-18T19:51:00.002+07:00

Bangkok Airways monopolized the only airport in Samui, and with that, they shout the price they want and we have no choice, or do we? Well a short flight in Bangkok Airways to Samui from Suvanaphum cost THB 3,000 one way at least (and that's during the promotion period). Double that and double the passenger, it cost THB 12,000 at least for a round trip. Yes you buy the time and the convenience, but I did it all for less than THB 5,000. That, I took the alternative, going by Air Asia to Surat Thani, and a ferry across to the island paradise. All in all, six hours or so of adventure I see it to be, and it was definitely worth the savings.

Hunting for good cheap budget airlines promotion, one could end up with return tickets for two as cheap as THB 2,000, so with that I had a smile broader then Joker in Batman - The Dark Knight . Now, once at the airport in Surat, there are 2 ways to get across to Samui. I rented a Vios from Hertz, and enjoyed my one and half hours drive over to the ferry terminal at Donsak. Or, you could purchase the bus tickets inclusive of the sea crossing while on board Air Asia when the staffs announces it.

Getting to that speck of paradise in the Ao Thai Sea consist of an enjoyable drive across well paved roads covering a distance of about 100km, that which I took one and half hours. The critical point to note is that the last ferry leaves at 19:00 hrs. So if you arrive at Surat at 16:00 to rent a car, you could be skating on thin ice. The thing about the ferry service is that, you do not know how long a queue there will be till you get there. I bought my advance ferry tickets at Raja Ferry counter at the airport for about THB 500 and they could not guarantee my getting over to Samui on the same day. You have to expect the worst if you are going during the public holiday season, so plan your timing well. Coordinates for Raja Ferry Terminal at Donsak is 9°19'42.41"N , 99°44'39.62"E .

Now, something about renting the car from Hertz, make sure you check them wheels before you take the car. It was into the second day on the island that we realized there was something stuck in our wheels. We called Hertz, they said, whatever we do, don't pull that out. It was part of the previous puncture repairs. The job looked shoddy and we asked what if the tire went flat while we were driving, won't that be dangerous? Should we not get proper wheels in the first place where safety is concerned? To which, there was no answer to our question.

Anyways, I did arrived at Donsak after a fun hour of discovering that being in the Vios taking on corners is like being in a ferry before I even got on one and that the 2000cc engine can churn out quite good torque even at speeds beyond 150km/h. I was relieved to see the clam pier with only less than five vehicles on queue and my girlfriend was glad we were still alive.

We caught the 6pm ferry, drove over the rusty gangway into the belly of the beast, we left the car on the lower deck and head on up into the comfy lounge area above to spend the next one and half hours looking through large windows as the sky turned an orange and into the deep blue. We walked the upper decks and have the breeze blow our hairs into a frenzy.

I was quite surprised the ferry was rather presentable, but not every day is we-strike-lottery day as you can see from the pictures above, on our return trip the other ferry in the Raja fleet was of a much inferior quality. Getting to a destination by never tried before means, yet another exploration chapter in my book of adventures as it continues in Thailand.

Bangkok Airport Link, Don’t

2011-08-02T10:45:00.002+07:00

Well for those of you who are arriving in Bangkok, first advise, don’t take the bloody overhyped Airport Link. Well, fast as it may be, but when I arrived at the Makkasan station, it was like arriving on a deserted island after a shipwreck in the Pacific Ocean. See, Makkasan is supposed to be the so called “City Air Terminal” and one would perceived it to be well served or linked by other connecting public transport at least. Arriving at Makkasan, we found the place almost deserted. There were little staffs on duty and when asked where the taxi queue was, we were told, it’s on the main road. Main road??

That’s when we realized it meant going to the ground floor, out of the terminal, going on foot under the station lugging my baggage to the main road some 500 meters away and to flag a cab by ourselves. And while on the main road, I truly enjoyed inhaling the exhaust fumes of traffic which was at a standstill. I was also thrilled by the experience of waiting extremely long for the crawling taxi. City planners in Thailand (oh they so brilliant) decided to place the City Terminal next to one of the most congested roads (Ratchadaphisek - Phetchaburi intersection) in Bangkok just to proof to tourist the notorious traffic jams in Bangkok are for real. And I had heard on the news lately, the record breaking lowest number of passengers in a day was 300. The average was 1,600. A billion dollar project that’s more like a joke.

Koh Larn on a Weekend

2011-07-27T05:53:00.003+07:00

Heading for a short beach trip on a weekend gateway, not so far, just an hour or more away. Where? Pattaya for the farangs, or Bang Sean for the local folks? Neither. Its an island I will blog here. Well in Singapore we go across to the over developed Sentosa, here we have bustling and crowded Koh Larn opposite of Pattaya.

The Beach @ GPS: 12°55'30.45"N, 100°46'41.68"E

Getting there means joining the sardine crowd on a 20 Baht ride on the common ferry, standing on the roof just like trains in India. Or, you could negotiate with the scary scattered speed boat operators that harass you on your way to the pier for as low as 2000 Baht for a personal speedboat over to a designated beach on the island. We opted for the scary speed boat operators. Depending on the time of the year and the season, the operators will drop you off a beach where the waters are calm. There are a few beaches on Koh Larn for your info.

It was hot and the beach was wide. Popular destination for tourist as well and the number of boats anchored on the shallow waters numbered in hundreds. Para-sail, banana boats and jet skiing are some of the activities there.

That’s also where we learnt that 30 minutes of 600 Baht jet skiing fun could turn out to be 6000 Baht after our friends rammed into a boat. At first I thought it was the Jet-Ski con scheme so common around Pattaya where tourist get ripped off for damages they did not caused. But I learnt that the damage was genuine. I also learnt that jumping into conclusion that all the Jet Ski operators were con artist and cursing them with the word “monitor lizards” in Thai was not a good idea (I wanted to engage them in a fight because I thought they were attempting to con us, also for some reasons or other, monitor lizard in Thai is a very bad word).

With so many boats anchored, an accident is always waiting to happen. The other Indian tourist causing a commotion with the thugs on the beach had 3 Jet Skis slammed into each other, damages claimed to be 50,000 Baht or more and he could not pay. Lesson learnt, don’t Jet Ski there, it just ain’t worth it.

Fresh seafood on Mainland @ GPS: 12°55'29.58"N, 100°52'1.72"E

Food and shop houses are an abundant on this spot of an island. But if you are wise like we did, we bought the yummies from mainland over to the island at a fraction of what you will have to pay on Koh Larn. Along the streets near the pier on mainland, you will find shop houses selling life seafood. We got a kilogram of crayfish for THB350, had them steamed and packed for the trip. On Koh Larn, the same crayfish sold for THB1,200 per kilogram. Same goes for beer and all that alcohol. Local culture, we spent the entire day on Koh Larn in economy mode, brought all the stuffs from mainland and stayed tipsy chatting away into the evening to join the force of boats on the return leg at 5pm.

Good Dinner @ GPS: 12°51'39.90"N, 100°53'43.73"E

Evening time, the sea breeze a blowing. How else to enjoy the transition from dusk colors till deep blue night under the moonlit shores? Driving along the Pattaya shoreline, we found restaurants aplenty. Simple tables and plastic stools lined the pavement separating the road and the shoreline. Anglers catching them Whiting by the buckets stood where the pavement were free. We choose one spot at random and feasted, washing down scrumptious seafood with the last remaining whisky brought over from Koh Larn. A weekend on Koh Larn, cheap, simple and not so far. Just too much crowd as with every other sunny spots nearby Bangkok.

I, ATV Koh Tao

2011-07-05T23:14:00.001+07:00

Moving in and around Koh Tao resulted in sore thumb. Since I am born with an inherited genetic incapability to balance myself on motorcycles, I had to go for ATV on the island. I had to grip on hard as the rocky roads attempted at every bump to dislodge my press on the tiny thumb throttle. Try that for an hour and see how your thumb feels.

You can get the smallest ATV at 600 to 700 Baht for a full day, that’s pretty inexpensive considering the fun you can have. See, Koh Tao is not just a place where you melt and become one with the sofa in your resort, but also a place for an explorer. Riding the ATV over windy roads, challenging the small engine to steep hills, testing the brakes around corners at the bottom of the slopes, exciting I say. And getting lost was part of the fun too.

Travel deep and you can find yourself sipping cold beer on scenic spots overlooking the ocean from some obscure small pubs. Travel high into the hills and you find some of the best food. Travel all over into interesting resorts and survey for your next stay. Challenge the dog to a race. I had fun on the ATV, from Mae Haad to Sairee.

Full photo sets here under Koh Tao Feb 2010 & Koh Tao Apr 2011.

Getting to Koh Tao, by Lomprayah and it Sucks

2011-04-24T10:47:00.004+07:00

Koh Tao is an island north of Samui, north beyond the full moon party island of Phangan. No direct flights and the only way to get there is by your personal yacht or the daily ferries departing from Bangkok, Hua Hin, Chumphon or Samui.

I recommend the Chumphon route, so as I did enjoying the 7 hours drive from Bangkok at 3am in the morning, followed by the Lomprayah twin hulled high speed ferry departing at 1pm. The boat journey was an hour and a half. One could get to Chumphon in a short 5 hours if needed to, forgoing all the coffee breaks, the toilet visits, the export outlet shopping and the meal stops along route in mega petrol stations so many in Thailand.

Take your time, drive a slow pace and enjoy the pleasant experience from darkness till dawn and into the daylight morning I say. Recently, they had a new service introduced. Its called Solar Air. You take a propeller plane from Bangkok to Chumphon airport, then a bus followed by the ferry service. No need to wake that early in the morning for self-drive. It cost about THB3,000 one way.

Bookings for the ferry could be done in advance over the Lomprayah web site, that was what I did and luckily I did so too. If not, one will have to endure the slow services of the check in counter as I write later. Getting to the ferry terminal is a challenge. The directional map on the website ain’t clear at all, could end up in Burma. So, in this post I had attached a snapshot of Google Maps for references (Long 10°21'30.60"N, Lat 99°16'1.80"E).

Lomprayah in Chumphon, they provide safe overnight parking looked after by the residence for THB50 per day to watch over your precious ride. Just make sure you get a shady spot for your car if you do not want it to be baking under the glaring sun. And to do so, wait for the return ferry from Koh Tao an hour before your trip, many folks will be driving their cars out on the return trip to Bangkok and that’s when you have the luxury to choose lots under the shade. Not much point arriving too early in advance as the parking could be full.

Now, heaps of whining, Lomprayah, no queue system, no baggage services and very slow checking-in process. Checking-in took more then 10 minutes per person as the counter was only a served by single slow laid back country woman scribbling your bookings onto notebooks. They have speed limits in terms of work but strangely, no one in the queue was complaining. Haven’t they heard of computerization?

Then when it was time, I had to lug and roll my baggage over the fifty meters of creaky wooden jetty under the searing sun, I got my tan even before landing on the beach. The ferry has two levels, the top so labeled VIP and you will have to pay THB100 extra to be in (it was THB 50 last year). But you may not get it as wished. Experienced riders rushed towards the boat in an instant after the onset of announcement to board. I had sat in the mass area below, powered by only three air conditioning systems. It was hot and humid, it ain’t a pleasant ride.

And so on my second trip to Koh Tao, I opted for booking VIP when checking in, ensuring I would get that seat upstairs instead of sauna room below. I was given a special VIP sticker, pasted onto my shirt, it was suppose to indicate to all that I had special privileges. Then, no special privilege encountered, I still had to join the long queue as per normal. Waltzing into the VIP with expectations that there will be available seats waiting for me, I was greeted by a scene of chaos instead. Large noisy families, hordes of noisy Thai folks engaged in frantic throwing of belongings onto empty seats reserving them for their mothers, kids and whatsoever extended families further down the queue. And they did not have the VIP stickers, they just conquered that VIP room in a stampede. To top it off, I did not see any staffs of Lomprayah coming in to check on who had the VIP stickers and who not, by right those who did not had to pay that extra THB100, it did not happen. And when I asked the Lomprayah staffs about why those people were not being charged, here was how it went:

Me (to Staff of Lomprayah):
Excuse me, we are supposed to pay extra when we sit VIP right?

Staff:
Yes sir.

Me:
Why no one come to check on me and ask me to pay extra THB100?

Staff (started looking at each other to find excuse, realizing they forgot to check who was VIP and who not):
Oh we will do so….

Paused… confusion among staffs…

Staff:
Er sir, can we have a look at your ticket… ?

Me hand over ticket… .

Staff: Oh sir… you already are VIP, we no charge you extra.

Me: What about the others? Did you check on them?

Paused… confusion among staffs…

Staff: Oh no need sir, we know who VIP and who are not. So we will charge those without VIP tickets and stickers.

Me: Why I never see you charge those with normal stickers then? I have been sitting up there for 1 hour already?

Staff: That’s because we know those without the VIP stickers currently upstairs had already paid for the extra VIP charge when checking in, the check in staffs had radioed us to tell us who they are.

Bull shit, utter bullshit. Totally bullshit, how could they recognized them all? And if they did paid extra, they would have got VIP stickers!! Lomprayah is full of bullshit but why should they bother to improve services since they are the only company that monopolizes the only ferry to Koh Tao!! Assholes.

Working here for 7 years, that day, I realized why my Thai friends had told me repeatedly that Thai people are very good at telling lies in my course of work as a warning. They don’t call it lies, my Thai mates had said, they simply call it “don’t finish the sentences” that’s all. Thais are very good at twisting the story and changing the facts. This, I totally witnessed on that day.

So my advice to all, forget about opting for VIP during check in and paying in advance. Many of us with VIP stickers ended with no seats because of these ill-mannered folks who horded the VIP level. Pity the other Caucasian tourists who were squeezed out of VIP rooms and made confused by the Lomprayah staffs who gave all kinds of bullshit reasoning. I am just wondering what the Lomprayah staffs had told those who paid but did not get a seat. I got mine because I screamed at the Lomprayah staffs when I had no seats during the beginning of the journey.

My holiday in Koh Tao was almost perfect except for Lomprayah. But do we have a choice?

Full photo sets here under Koh Tao Feb 2010 & Koh Tao Apr 2011.

Live Borderless - Charm Churee Villa, Koh Tao

2011-04-22T08:14:00.004+07:00

Live Borderless, not LG LCD TV, but a resort I will blog about. Live Borderless, see the view out into the gulf spanning the horizon from my personal patio overhanging off the cliffs as the long tail boast sped by. Every morning, I woke to the warm radiance of the rising sun under the shadows of the weathered cliffs. The gentle salty breeze caressed as I stood looking down below into my personal aquarium. The spotted green crabs sunning their shells warmed up as the vibrant fishes played amongst the corals. It was the second time I was there, a hint that I found this resort worth a second visit.

Not your average budget type hotel, but worth every dear Baht I had earned. The resort had been around since 2002, but the corrosive waft of the sea had taken its toll on the wooden huts that makes up the accommodation of this dwelling. I had stayed in unit 34, for the second time. A one bedroom one living room suite, with what I gathered to be the one of the best view Charm Churee could offer. The hike to the room however does require a certain fitness level. It was through 10 minutes of meandering steep steps, over sand and challenging corners that we arrived panting and breaking out in perspiration.

And the first think I could think of was to wash myself down in the outdoor shower. It was, outdoor very much indeed as the so many gaps in the bamboo walls offered quite a good view of my tan free fair shiny glow in the dark butt cheeks. The bathroom and toilet, nestled on rocks offered a most interesting wash experience ever, guaranteed.

Getting to town was like playing a RPG game. I had to look for signs in the jungle path that indicated “To Town”. It took a good fifteen minutes off the beaten track through several resorts before arriving onto sandy tracks that lead into bustling Mae Haad Bay. Through bushes, steep slopes, narrow path and nature, I was half expecting goblin gangs to spring out from behind hidden corners and I had to kill them with my magical sword or cast an exploding spell to wipe them out in a single attempt. The Mae Haad Bay township is laden with restaurants catering to the Caucasian tourist at Caucasian price. Its here you could locate bike and ATV rentals, pharmacies, a Seven-Eleven, packages that offers round the island snorkeling trips and such. In short, there were simply no free shuttle services between hotel and anywhere on this speck of an island in the gulf.

Breakfast was buffet, not a wide selection but not too bad really. And as for dinner, if one does not want to suffer the ordeal of trekking to town in the night and having to kill magical demons of the forest, dine at the Starlight Restaurant I would recommend. Dinner was pricey for Thais, but it was the average price if compared to urban countries elsewhere in the world. And the portion was huge, therefore dividing quantity by price, it was every bit reasonable. Would suggest sharing main course of spaghetti as an option for Thais who do not want to suffer cream and carbo overdoes. The meal setting itself was exotic enough alone. We sat on the floor dining in dusk colors for dinner, we looked over the sides and we could see fishies preparing for their nightly slumber through the clear waters. One thing I do have to mention, while we dined, the mosquitoes dined on us, the whole family of them, several generations across feasting on my arms, legs, neck and even though the clothing into my back. Must bring mosquitoe repellent unless you want to become swell man.

And daytime itself was a time to just laze around and bask in the sun. Enjoy the waters of private Jansom Bay. Jansom means Orange Plates in Thai and the place was named as such for some unknown reasons. I didn’t see any plates in the water, I did’t see any orange trees growing out of the sea. The bay itself has abundant sea life. Sat still in the water and the incredible amount of fish would have chewed off my nipples clean. So, I tried as much as I could not to sit still for more then 5 seconds. Waters near shore was already stunning but swimming out beyond where the bamboo platforms where, it was exquisite. Colorful corals and shoals of large fishes, giant clams with purple lips greeted us as we waddled out with our snorkeling gear. The sea was a clam, occasionally churning only when the distant diving or long tail boats sailed past. Downing that ice cold beer in the high afternoon sun was refreshing. The only problem was getting that beer ordered. The staffs here, neither good in Thai nor English, the lot are from Myanmar, cheap labor I guess.

All in all, Charm Churee was a good stay, and in fact I find myself having good calve muscles after staying there. Yes, Koh Tao may not offer the best waters crystalline like those of Similans, but definitely, it was a resort to rest and blend one’s soul to the rustic charms of the breathtaking scenery. Every morning, I woke to the sound of the sea and the glimmering specks of colors from coral fishes playing out front under my patio. And every evening I watched the vibrant reflections of sunset broken by silhouettes of long tail boats blaring past. In aw, I was in, in paradise again I had been.

Full photo sets here under Koh Tao Feb 2010 & Koh Tao Apr 2011.

CNY - go Singapore, Malaysia or Thailand?

2011-02-06T10:00:00.000+07:00

Well, in case you are farang (ang moh, or Caucasian tourist as officially called) your best bet to have a good Chinese New Year would be Thailand.

Go Singapore, most shops closed on first day, so no shopping, not so much food. Worst, no festive mood because we go to jail forever for letting off firecrackers. Singapore is a “fine” country. We can’t even play them Hindu drums during Thaipusam else we get fined. Singapore thinks its noise pollution. The drums were supposed to mask out the horrific screams of the Hindus as they pierce themselves in the name of sacrifice.

Go Malaysia, which is where I was, really… no food. I was hunting for all the good hawker food. None whatsoever opened, because, public holiday. All “balek kampong” (go back to home town).

But in beautiful Thailand, it ain’t no public holiday. Office workers still work, shops remained opened so there is no lack of places to go. To get into the festive mood, just go to China Town and there’s a scene there. Firecrackers, we let them off yes we do. Although the dancing Lion speaks Thai, we still have a true Chinese New Year here.

ATMs at Suvarnabhumi Airport

2011-02-03T21:04:00.001+07:00

Again, some bright ass decided to make life for people looking for ATM machines after immigration as painful as possible. I have written of this before, once when I checked in without drawing cash from ATM machines before immigration. Then I left the country without money because there were no ATMs in the departure area. And some months later, ATMs were finally installed and there were no more frustrating moments when one forgets to draw cash before leaving.

And then NOW, it happened again…. YESTERDAY. Not that there are no ATMs but all them fucked up purples boxes by the Siam Fucking Commercial Banks issues only them foreign cash!!! Screw the one who came out with this bloody absurd idea.

Waiting for the Winter

2010-12-12T08:04:00.001+07:00

Have we noticed the change? Do we realize it had happened? Never had I expected that the effects of global warming can be witnessed in the short 7 years I had lived in Thailand, at least that’s what all my surrounding friends are talking about. This winter…. ain’t no winter. I remember from the year I arrived till about 3 years ago, during the months of November to January, motorcycle taxi sheds in Bangkok will have small camp-fire set up burning in some kind of make-shift bin. Motorcycle taxi drivers could be seen cuddled up keeping themselves warm around, palms stretched out absorbing the warmth and rubbing their hands together from time to time. We walked in the cool dense air, I could have coffee outdoors under the sun and not break a sweat. Sip hot coffee from a ceramic mug in cold winter, I loved it. Where is that experience now?

Back then, there were always friends going up north and coming back to share their tales of how cold it was the chilly air they breathed and the romantic atmosphere that such months offered. But just a week ago, friends coming back from Mae Hong Song told tales of extreme heat and only the early morning hours which offered a hint of winter’s mark.

I was happy back in end of October, when the cool breeze came suddenly unexpectedly. Even down south Hua Hin was cold and I could still remember having that hot Japanese soup with me friend in the cold night air. I was sharing with my mates how great living in this Kingdom had been and that part of Unseen Thailand is the secret winter debut that not many had known. How happily telling them I was, how wrong I now am. Even the Bangkok media had predicted that this year we will be experiencing the coldest and longest winter, obviously they had been wrong so far. The cool spell was over after the first week of November and it never came again.

The winter solstice is 21 Dec 2010. The sun is now low and darkness sets in about 6pm. But where, where are you now, the long awaited winter we are all eager for?

Old Town Chiang Khan

2010-11-27T17:07:00.001+07:00

As presumed, we planned a winter trip up north. Keyword… winter… reality, perspire like pigs. End of November, should have been cold, but Buddha decided to turn the sauna on. And so we left Bangkok at 10pm in the night. Can’t recall the entire journey, but when I woke it was near 6, and up the mountains we went in the still cool air hoping it will last.

We were in Loei and joined the flock of local travelers for the sunrise. As we hike up the pathway, many of them were already strolling the opposite way, we missed the sunrise but nevertheless, the view was still breathtaking on Phu Ruea National Park. Misty, top of the peak I was as the sunrays contest the heavenly clouds to reach my lens. First stop of the day for many on their way to Chiang Khan.

Now Chiang Khan had been the talk of many lately. Her old rustic charms attracting many of the city folks, luring them with her backwards appeal into a world where the clock ticks slower. However, the dwellers of this village just ain’t too happy about it. They had been invaded, modernization had set in with the ever increasing loads of tourist. Even farangs had started to arrive in small numbers. The concrete buildings have started to sprout, over shadowing the original rows of aging wooden houses laid along the only street. Chang Khan will turn into another Pai soon as many had already reflected.

The monks walk their daily rounds just as the sun rise. Briskly, they collect alms from the local folks, strolling a slow pace taking in the clear morning air. In contrast to that, during the peak supposed to be cold period of November till January, things are very different. Monks get overfed like fishes. We tourist like to do everything that locals do just so as to do what we tourist are suppose to do. As a result, abnormal number of people lined up the streets and we dump loads of monk-feed into their small bowl. Never mind the cookies, sticky rice and what not had already piled up like mountain, tourist continued to squeeze whatever we can into any opening we chanced upon between the packs of nutrients. I myself was one of them and it was quite obvious the monks tried to walk as fast as he could pass all of us, refusing our offerings tactically. Some, I could tell was calculating how to walk past us beyond arms reach. We tourist had stressed the monks. There should be a Monk Overfeed Protection Act set up in Chang Khan someday.

Accommodation in Chang Khan is basic. Mainly, they are home stay. This is the second time I am at it and I am still amazed that all the elderly are wiling to sacrifice their night sleep for us. For a mere THB1500, they are willing to give up the bedroom and sleep all over the living room downstairs, scattered in a way like cats would do so in a large open area. There are not resorts on Chiang Khan as yet, but in time, there will be as popularity grows.

The old town is located next to the Mekong. So one could talk local to the locals and have a boat ride out on the river for THB1000. Sail next to Laos, see them kids play the water. Wave as we did as the citizens of Laos smiled and waved back. Cycling is the core activity there, for in Chang Khan is a long street where in the night it turns into a bustling market with restaurants, drinking joints and the so many peddlers. Colorful lights reflecting off old wooden charms, a kaleidoscope, it can be quite a picture.

A packed trip up north and back, sleep deprived we were back working the third day. 60% of the time spent in the van, stopping along the way for spots of unknown attractions. That’s the way we do it here, cheap.

Full photo sets available here under Old Town Chiang Khan Nov 2010.

Pink Flowers and Weird Rocks

2010-11-08T18:04:00.000+07:00

Blog about August, some time ago. What’s on during August? Pink flowers season they say. All Thais flock to this place called Chaiyaphum to step on them flowers… no just kidding. Thais flock there to take in the full view of these pink petals blooming all over the slopes in the midst of fresh foggy mountain air. Flowers, so many, but you gotta catch them at the right time. With global warming, it’s hard to predict when they will bloom. We were told we went late for the season. The Dog Krachaio (that’s what they call them) had already started withering.

Chaiyaphum is highlands about 5 hours from Bangkok by van. That’s what we went in. My colleagues are very good (in fact all Thais are) at organizing such tightly pack trips over a short weekend, squeezing every bit out of off work time. We left midnight on Friday, our lives in the hands of the lone driver. Woke up crusty eyed at 5am on some mysteriously misty place, thinking our van had crashed and we were in Heaven. And when sense returned, we realized we were in some national park, Thai name too long, me brain no register.

August, Thais not only flock to Chaiyaphum for the flowers, but to also pose themselves dangerously on precariously looking rocks in order to take the picture of their lifetime. The forestry here in Thailand is good at making every rock sticking out over dropping cliffs an attraction. They are also ingenious in naming theses places, one of which I visited was “Cliff of Penis Shrinkage”. It’s a myth, my penis is still looking good down there.

Other then carrying genital related names, these are one of the few rocks in the entire solar system which has the most number of humans ever stood on them. Just wondering in my mind when a crack will appear and give way, taking a lovely couple along with it.

Rock features in this region are very peculiar in shapes. Thais looked at them and christened them Radar, World Cup something and whatever they can think of. Aiming through my viewfinder, I contemplate what freaky natural erosive phenomenon could have created them over the millenniums which had past.

Thais like waterfalls. And so, if there is one in the region, we flock there like frogs looking for a pond to spawn. In my restless state, again I cannot register the name of this place, but it was packed with people. As usual, Thais swim in their full daily attire, no bikinis for eye candy. Locals, only locals, hidden away from the knowledge of farangs the place is.

And what accommodation we lodged in? Travel local, stay local. Speak their language, live their language. We bunked over in “Home Stay”. Home Stay in Thai means staying in someone’s home literally. We invaded some farmer’s house for a small fee and the usual occupants young or elderly, will find some hole sleep else where. It was about THB 2,000 or so as I can recall for their sacrifice. Where do we get such incredible deals I asked? The web forums aplenty floating around they said. In written Thai they all are, reasons now we know why we expats can’t find good cheap deals.

They had simple food for us dinner, breakfast and lunch. We can squeeze in as many as we want, they will somehow get all the mattresses and blankets for us all. Just try not to think of the odor that came along with it. I was too tired to think of it anyways. Arrived late in the night and woke early 5am for out next leg of the journey.

Rocky rides, sleep deprived. We traveled them cliffs, flowers and rocks and falls. Had fun aplenty, all within a packed 48 hours. To so many places and back again. Monday, the next work day, was terrible. Will I do it again? Yes.

Full photo set here under Pink Flowers and Weird Rocks Aug 2010.

Pai, How to Get Rich Guide

2010-01-25T17:42:00.000+07:00

Pai, a little town up north in the middle of farmlands has been growing in popularity with both Farangs and Thais. I’ve been there and back. Most people there are mountain folks who had stayed on inherited or illegal lands for generations. Now how to get rich?

Coffee in Love, the coffee hole I will talk about, is situated along the main road with a lucky view overlooking the flat valley. So are many other small coffee joints set up to cash in on the 4 winter months where tourist arrives like packs of wild animals on a stampede. Coffee in Love is reputed as such, you never arrive in Pai unless you have visited and drank in this coffee joint. What’s so amazing about it? To me, nothing. Its all synthetic.

You have a land acquired or inherited, all you need to do is to put up some colorful tasty buildings painted in bright colors. Then buy some junk cars and refurbish them up in attractive colors with the name of the town painted all over. Put up a bunch of senseless signs that points to North Pole or far off places with their distance shown. Plant trees and flowers all over, put swings in place. Have larger then life signs erected, put some cheap tables and chairs with unique design not local to the province and scatter them all over, white seems to work. Get some stunned horses to roam around the grass, white ones seems to work too. And then sell coffee or cakes and they, the money will come.

It is just that simple, it does not take much of an investment if you already have a piece of land, oh yeah those lucky sons and daughters. But for the farmers many still, this is just a remote dream. For broken chairs and worn out tables, in wooden huts so broken they live. How to have more money to paint that pretty house or buy them fancy tables and chairs? Come, lets buy them off the land, lets turn the potential into kinetic money. Lets exploit them with our higher spending capability, so many of Bangkokians do now. The driver complained on as he drove us touring the idyllic landscapes of winter Pai.

Koh Kood – Urban Transition gone Wild

2010-01-16T10:43:00.002+07:00

Anywhere Thais discover the last potential paradise, the sea life will die. While the resort I stayed boasted of its abundant wild sea creatures that visit the jetty in the mornings, the next resort just a hundred meters right was spear fishing the life out of the blur sting ray that ventured to the wrong place at the wrong time. The Thai guy, crouched low on the jetty platform, long spear on hand. With a quick bolt, I witnessed him probed deep into the shallow sands. And then he pulled up a good sized ray. Proudly, he walked back to his resort and everyone came gathering making him even more proud.

Koh Kood is the last island south east of Thailand before Cambodia. It is reputed to be untouched. And so it is with only one main dirt road on the island. It is an island with only the occasional Farang spotted, it is an island full of Thai tourists. It is, their land, their playground and I could see they prefer to keep it that way. Though the island is truly backwards, there are hints that points to another making of Phuket, that which is the ever strong GSM signal on the island. Even when on snorkeling trips an hour on to the middle of nowhere, you will still get strong GMS reception of 5 bars. The island has got unorganized constructions of all sorts turning the coastal parts into great balls of yellow dust. Uncontrolled exploitation of nature, it’s always a Thai thing.

Why are there no great concrete luxury type resorts on the island I asked? All resorts are now built on land with only temporary permits paid for at high price. There is still no official ownership of land for the resorts' owners. So the resorts are built cheap. And when things are built cheap, nature will be neglected. The owners take the risk and assume they will get the land in time, but one never knows for sure what the future offers. I for one wish the grey permits will all be taken back, the shoddy resorts destroyed and the proper cash rich developers come on to properly build some luxury resorts. This will reduce the number of developments. This will make the island exclusive. This, they will preserve the island with more consideration at least and not taint what is supposed to be crystal clear coastal waters of Koh Kood. But, this is the land of the Thais and is one of the last few island paradises where it still remains un-Farangnized. This they want, shoddy but Thai.

Shoddy but Thai? Let me elaborate further. The waterfall, is now a bath tub. It is no longer trekking in scattered groups towards the middle of jungle to find you can have almost the whole place to yourself. It was wild and noisy when I was there. It looked like a temple ground fair. It was littered with human debris. The parking ground was a dustbowl, the visitors in streams. The waters polluted. The freshwater fishes were dying. The crowd control was nil.

Snorkeling trips to distant islands. Ever seen dead floating groups of ants in a cup of overnight cola? Well that’s what it looked like. Boats too many, excreted oil leaking from old engines aplenty. And a thousand Thai girls, women and aunties splashed about in full clothing. Detergent residue overwhelmed the waters. The coral life whatever decent was left, will not be able to take it. They will die the fishes will be gone. Another spot of nature will be exterminated. The people have no brains, they do not have a thing for nature. They love it and they are killing it.

The soldiers came about asking each boat the number of visitors. They can monitor, they can write down the numbers, but do nothing they can to control or limit the damage to nature. This is sad, the paradise will be gone. Already it has begun. The visibilities in these waters were only a good 2 meters or so as I floated aimlessly breathing through my snorkel.

This is an island for one to experience the beginning of another hot spot. With what seems to be uncontrolled number of exploitations going on there, soon, it may well be another Koh Samet before her transition into Phuket. Money talks it works like that in Thailand. All matters of nature will be overridden, goodbye to the fishies. Go there while you can now or forever gone her natural beauty will be.

Koh Kood - The Natural Beach Resort

2010-01-15T10:41:00.001+07:00

What’s there to do on Koh Kood? Nothing, absolutely nothing. It is not all that bad, for nothing was what I was looking for. To rest my work worn mind, to be away from my job, to be away from civilization.

Now this resort is rather pricey, but hey how can I complain because it was Thai Father’s Day then. Be warned the prices will double for such occasions, but the friendly boss came about and tried to ease the pain in everyone’s wallet by being as friend as he could. An old Chinese, he spoke Teochew and Mandarin to me.

The bungalows are wooden and only in the night you get power to the air-conditioning. Unless like I stayed, paid more I did for the Beach Sea View Deluxe. I get them luxury including heated bath water for all day long. Just one complain, the flat screen in my room was too small.

Opened my doors and out the patio I sat. Sipped my coffee and inhaled the sea breeze accompanied by my cigarette smoke. My eyes were hit so hard with the bountiful deep colors. So clear what’s above, so hypnotizing blue the horizon, so much the colors between beyond and the shores, the bands of blue to green, the clear waters breaking the rocks and sand. The reward of staring into the Gulf of Thailand from Koh Kood. The tall coconut tress swayed gently, the dogs in their state of dreams on the fresh green grass.

Lunch and dinner served, every meal made they tried to match the experience of an exquisite banquet. For this small but well maintained resort of the beach, the food served was surprisingly excellent and not too pricey. This I could see the difference, compared to some other equivalent resorts I had been to.

Majority of the guests were Thais, only 2 units of Farangs on this trip I saw. They baked their bellies in the sun doing nothing most of the day, while the fully clothed Thais drank Black and chatted as they enjoyed the sea. Canoe some did, and swam I had. Disappointingly, the water while deceiving clear from above, was not that so when I was in it. I cannot complain I was told, The Gulf of Thailand can never compare to the Indian Ocean south west of Thailand, where Similan the islands I had been.

Island paradise, one would envision the experience of a Phuket like holiday. But no, not here. There is only one main road running down the middle of the island, many parts still just dirt tracks. There will not be the up-market massage spas, and in the night the girly bars. About the only other thing to do is to go for the waterfall trekking trip. After our pickup made numerous tight passes on the single lane roads, we arrived. Packs of people in pink, it was Thai Father’s day, that’s what Thai people wear to show their love for the King.

And in the night all there is to do is laze and gaze into the night sky, drinking as usual the Thais did. Finished the Black as they chatted into the morning hours. And for the first time for many on the island this trip, they experienced unexpected winter weather. Someone up there turned on the air-conditioning to blanket the whole island that night. It was strangely abnormal.

For snorkeling trips off shores, there is a bunch of islands north between Koh Kood and Koh Chang. That I went, but it was rather disappointing the clarity of water. Food served in Styrofoam boxes, mineral waters served from ice filled coolers. We lunched on an island, sat on sand. The dirty littered beach telling a tale of uncontrolled tourism. Paradise will soon be lost.

I would have loved to have stayed a day more, doing absolutely nothing but to take an afternoon nap on the deck chairs under the shady trees. But my trip was just a short 2 nights that time instead of my normal 3. It is an island, a little bit backwards, for that ultimate holiday of having your mind at peace with the sounds of gentle splashes. I was there, enjoyed the melody orchestrated by the rocky shores of the island.

Koh Kood – Getting There

2010-01-14T10:35:00.001+07:00

It was three hours before the first beam of sun, that’s how early one would have to wake up in order to drive and catch the boat to Koh Kood scheduled between 8 to 9 am. While the hunters at pubs were at their last leg of attempt to net their easy intoxicated preys, I started the cold engine breaking the sound of lonely footsteps made by the security. And there in the stillness of night, one would venture into the darkness, amongst cars driving erratically after a night of heavy drinks. Drive south east one would go to the town of Trat. GPS was on hand lighting my cabin. They were ending their day, I was starting mine. My next island, Koh Kood.

Taking into account one would get lost, it takes about 4 to 5 hours to get to the pier. So be advice those of you who want to adventure, start early or miss the boat one shall. One would then be pleasantly greeted by the cold air in December during toilet stops en route to the sea. Fighting the ever increasing weight of one’s eyelids, down the coffee on these stops one will have to. As dawn broke, I drove my car fast at 140, the colors of orange and red reflecting off the white polished bonnet cutting into the cool winter air. I ramped my engine towards paradise. Exhilaration of speeding long distance, one could never in Singapore. In Thailand I still am, my adventure continues.

Resorts on Koh Kood, you don’t get to drive there. Park your car where the pier is, they will have caretakers to look after your precious on wheels during your absence of days. My trip, 3 days short, that I recommend being the minimum at least. Free coffee will be offered as one waits their turn to board the stream of speed boats leaving the pier. One by one the boats were lowered into the water, group by group we left.

Set to leave at 9, at 10 or 11 some will finally depart. For bastards there sure will be who arrive late on your scheduled boat. We waited a good 1 hour for a family group to arrive, the boat operators called them ever so often complaining on behalf of all passengers. So be early one should be, and don’t be the asshole of the day.

Our boat left, speeding from greenish brown shores. The wake we left in our journey, the flying fishes played. Silver strips of bullet shaped bodies, squint my eyes I did to catch a glimpse, the sun above the horizon so high then. The journey would take more then an hour, and in emerald glass water one would arrive. December is a good period, the waters will be clam, the sound of gentle splashes on the worn out beams.

Strange it was for me, the path to land was completely covered in water. Don’t wear shoes, just wear slippers for the journey, it may be wet, you have to walk in water. There I was, camera clicking in madness as I took all blue skies, green trees and clear seas in. Only one long word – woooooooooooow.

There and Back Again – Similan Islands

2009-11-28T13:33:00.000+07:00

Similan Islands? No, not in Hokkien (In Hokkien, it is…. What Testicles Islands… ). Similan Islands is not a chain of giant buoyant testicles floating west of Thailand. It is a chain of beautiful island nestled in crystalline waters west of Khao Lak. One of the last few beautiful gems in Thailand, they are open for visits only from the months of November till April. An attempt in conservation, an attempt to keep the coral reefs intact. Anyone can get there to a tune of THB2,000 for a one day trip, the journey beginning from the piers in a town within Khao Lak by the name of Tahplamu (Thap-la-mu). Getting to Khao Lak in a crowded van from Phuket will set you back by another THB500. You gotta get there early, the only boat leaves at 9. And so we took off in our rented Accord, don’t want no crowded van.

Unlike Singapore, if you did walk into any military facility you did be shouted and probably shot, here in Thailand, we just waltz into the naval base where it doubles as a pier for passengers boarding the speed boat ride to testicle islands….. I mean Similan. The journey took a good hour and a half, all heads on board dozing off left and right. The braless Caucasian in her so loose top puke herself all over. And as she waggled her way to the toilet, all the passengers were treated to a show of swaying papayas. It was enjoyable.

There are two types of waters in Thailand. Most will be green, but Similan is blue. It was snorkeling time and into the waters we went. Swimmers or not, we went in. And some were swept by the strong currents to far far away. Be warned on such trips, stay around your boat. And keep your head up constantly. For anyone not familiar with trips like these, be told now that the sea is not your private backyard. Boats will come and go and can run you down unaware. So please wear bright yellow bikini or trunks. Or stick a flashing torchlight up your ass. Be a beacon in the so blue waters.

Dare to bare, even the Asians did. In our conservative bringing up, this is not the norm. But they did. And they swam free topless in the ever blue inviting waters. Borderless, free to sway and unbounded. Perky but well tanned Asian flesh. I would love to see my friends doing that someday.

And to Donald Duck Island we headed. Someone put a large rock the shape of a duck on top a rocky hill (just a matter of speech, no one could have put it there). And so came the name the Island was christened. Further up hill, some one else put a very large rock precariously balanced right at the top. And so we were invited to climb to that rock, young old male and female. Unaware of the treacherous journey, we went, barefooted! On damped soil we stepped, on sharp rocks we made our feet gripped. I ain’t no monkey but the crossing I must make. Some passage required us to hold on to ropes to go around large rocks, the plummet to oblivion a possibility. We were all instant professional cliffhangers. And so atop the hill next to the well balanced rock, the view was beyond words (probably because scared until balls gone and no words can come out from mouth). Crowd control was never present. An accidental nudge will cause someone to cliff dive into cliffs. But no one cared, this is Thailand. We did the ritual of putting sticks to support the rock, in a testicular believe … I mean Similan believe that our wish will come true as long as our stick holds the rock in place.

The trip, one of my never ending crusade to visit all the nice islands of Thailand. My journey continues.

Full photo sets here under Similan Nov 2009.

Brown Water Rafting

2009-09-11T08:16:00.001+07:00

The long distance drives, an ever enjoyable part of the occasional holiday, the perks of living and working in Thailand. So many places and will one ever be done with all of Thailand? A couple of months back, gig and band of giggling squeaky friends decided to go white water rafting. Meaning many more squeaks and screams that pierce the tranquility of nature.

The business all started when some bored farangs long ago decided to engage in adrenaline pack activities within the peaceful life of the river dwelling folks. Then the local Thais, some ever so bursting with the spirit of entrepreneurship (aka…. desperate, must squeeze money from every possible idea), these white water rafting operations catering to the mundane lives of Thais popped up wherever the rivers looks dangerous. Phitsanulok is voted as one of the best places to engage in these lets-try-to-terminate-our-lives activities. The river is so much wilder compared to the others, I was told by the folks. With the arrival of rainy season starting after May, the brown water churns the excitement notch up depending on rainfall. The operator, a mid fifties aunty who happen to own a plot of land with a beaten hut along the river, advised always to call them a day before to check on conditions for sometimes there will be no rain, the river will be flat. And sometimes with too much rain, no one will dare to bring a bunch of inexperienced screamers down the river. Especially so if one knows the shoddy natures of such operators, anyone who had been on the river can be qualified as a guide, no certification, no proper safety or rescue training.

The kid who took me to all the spots where I snapped away as the dingy splashed and spun about arrived, he told me on occasions he too lead groups down the winding waterway. How it all started I asked. He said he learned from relatives after a few trips himself with them. The journey began …. anywhere I guess. It was a shady spot picked beside a bridge, the century old tree tall and filtering the sunlight. One will be given a short 10 minutes course on safety, what to do when you fall off the raft and how to row and such. But they never did tell you what if you fall off, got your one foot stuck in rocks and the powerful water push onto your body and snaps your shinbone like a twig (ok…. I have riverphobia….). A short training and it was expected everyone could row in synchronism. Imagine a panic crab with all legs attempting to move in all different directions within the same space-time.

The adventure began and so I drove all over with my kid guide to all accessible spots he could find. Slippery rocks, I jumped, skidded and skipped, gravel roads, my Volvo attempted to be 4WD. And so I asked about the raft, it was imported I was told. And what about repairs and such as tears will be inevitable with years of usage? Is there an authorized branch abouts there run by farangs or so to carry out the repairs? And he said “No, we use the glue……” .

It was near to two hours, the raft floated down the last peaceful leg of the river at six in the evening. Arrived on shore, the aunty brought us ice cold coffee. She was a kind person, Thai Chinese, and even prepared us a moo-ka-tak (BBQ pork) dinner waiting complementary. It was only during later when we ate did we discover the pork was green. That ain’t no complementary dinner, that was leftover probably they could not finished the day before. Stingy Chinese…..

The raft was left to dry in the shed, we had our sleep in the so hard beds. It was morning, it was time to return to Bangkok. Along the bends the rubber was left to sun bake. The folks supplement their income as rubber tappers. Lunched on the floating eatery as we gazed onto the brown river. It was an experience, yet another first. Into the raft I did not however, I did not want to fall over and go crouch first onto protruding rocks hidden in the white waters. Star rating for the resort? If only there are meteor ratings that I would give.

The Hidden Bangkok

2009-05-25T08:35:00.000+07:00

You could be driving along and turn into a street you never did in Bangkok, and wooo yeah. Heaps of scantly dressed ladies with their bosoms so revealing telepathically communicating with your groin. Smiling in the shadows between street lights, the tigress knocks on your windows as you cruised at a snail’s paced by. You could have them for 1000 a night. The topic ain’t about this… hehe.

You could be driving along and turn into a street you never did in Bangkok, and … be greeted by the most remarkable view you had ever seen while in Bangkok. A field of sunflowers, dead in the middle of nowhere, in a period you know Sunflower seasons ain’t suppose to be. Amazing Thailand.

Koh Rok

2009-03-22T15:31:00.002+07:00

The seas south of Thailand are like an ocean scattered randomly with gems. Koh Rok, one of the most distant islands south of Phuket and Koh Lanta is the furthest the operators will go without turning the trip into a sea sick torture adventure. The journey will take an hour and there are two island surrounded by emerald waters abundant with sea life for one to snorkel around in.

Being on a virgin trip to Koh Lanta, I booked the trip directly from the operator booth located next to the beach in Cha Da. Bad mistake. The opening price of $1400 was knocked to only $1300 and I took it. Only to realize later then when in the town of Sala Dan, I could get a similar trip for as good as $800.

A favorite haunt that I frequent for coffee or that ice cold lemonade is called Cat Fish Restaurant. They have plenty of cats there. As I spoke Thai to the friendly old lady, she told me of the $800 trip to Koh Rok, special price for people roo-jaik-gan (who know each other on the island). She could have gotten me that but I had already took on the one in Cha Da, bait line sinker and all.

The town of Sala Dan is dotted with a number of tour operators. In Cha Da where I curiously asked for car rental, I was offered $2000 per day for a pick-up and they had no other smaller vehicles. But in Sala Dan, the Suzuki was only going for $1000 ($1200 for Farangs the operator said discreetly).

And onto Koh Rok I went in the morning, to be the first passengers we were as the speed boat fetched the passengers from one beach to the other. The sea was rough and we ain’t going full speed as the pilot throttled up and down riding the swelling ridges and moving valleys created by the enchanting blue ocean.

The journey an hour long and could had been shorter on a better day. We reached anyway and were released into the inviting green waters on the west of the island pair. In the bay the sheltering effects was a good thing, preventing us from being swept away west and be collected in pieces on Indian shores.

Lunch was served simple, we had Thai food. Each lined up to scoop our servings and ventured off in our own directions to gorge under shades as the hermit crab scrambles into the crevices between roots of trees.

The wind caught up without warning and darkness gloomed at a distance sinisterly. In a time frame less then a third of an hour the boats sped away leaving us in wonder. Not long later the storm touched shores, the sun bright day had bleak down in rain, our mood turned a wee bit sour.

As the rain lightened with about thirty ticks of the minute, the shower had lightened but still the waters churned in anger. My day shall not be ruin, I fear you not swirling waters. And so many ventured in, one by one with me joining the order. Surprisingly the water was pleasingly warm in contrast to the air so breezy, at a distance the roar of thunder. The waves broke shore with strength, my heavy ass the anchor. I win.

The day ended near 2 pm, we had snorkeled 3 bays in total. We galloped the high seas back to Lanta which took more then an hour. The body tired, the sun burn was impending. I soaked my self on the steps, I sipped my coffee with the room to my back. I enjoyed my day, the breeze was on, but darn, the squeaky screams of toddlers.

Click here for full photo sets under Lazing in Lanta Mar 2009.

Lazing in Lanta

2009-03-20T07:30:00.002+07:00

And there I sat in the after light of the sunset contemplating. This will be my final holiday for now and shall be uncertainly long before I have the next. A package again I bought about a year ago during the Thai travel fair. Business was still rolling then and I had no troubles buying a break. Business is really bad this year and so at the fair just 2 weeks ago, I could only drool and dream. No more good relaxing holidays for me as there I sat concluding sadly.

Cha Da, located north east of Koh Lanta Yai is proclaimed to be one of the top 3 destinations on the island. This resort had two large pools visible form Google Earth. One of which I never dipped in lay further west near the beach, and the other made for rooms with pool access nested inland. There are a couple of different rooms offered but the highlight of this resort has to be the Gold Suite (having pool access). Having my own private waterfront meant a place to berth my whale of a body anytime I wanted when the heat got too extreme. Sitting on the steps half soaked enjoying a cold Heineken as the sun shone fiercely on the cool blue waters was exquisite. On one night the weather was hot, windless and humid. I stopped my copious flow of perspiration by sipping cold apple juice soaking in the same manner. Again, my thoughts if only everyday could be like that.

To get there, I got on the minivan service offered as part of the package. When the driver was asked on the travel time, he could only answer that it will take 1 hour to get to the pier. Beyond that, the timing was unpredictable. As no bridges links mainland to Koh Lanta Yai, we had to get on 2 vehicle ferry services across to Koh Lanata Noi and onto Koh Lanta Yai. If we had arrived during the peak season where both Thais and Farangs are a plenty during the New Year months, it could take as long as three hours just for queues. Since we will never know when chaos will set on the barges used for decades or we could never predict if there will be sudden mass human short term migration onto the island, he rather not speculate on the exact time it will take to get to Cha Da.

I had fish and chips on first arrival 3 in the afternoon after a 2 hours ride. It was large fishes swimming in sea of chips delivered. Definitely worth the 300 Baht it cost as the servings was made for that of the Farang. On some nights the restaurants offered buffet which was only satisfactory to the taste buds but very fair for the wallet. I would recommend for one to use the vouchers on the Ala Carte instead for the orders were generous in servings and the taste on a different level compared to mass cooked food. One advice I have on dining in Cha Da, bring your own mosquito repellent. On the first night, there was no breeze after a short rain. I had a hundred flying insects joining me for dinner sticking onto my sweaty arms and legs. On other nights, my legs were mosquito food in between sporadic occurrence of cool sea breezes. And the breakfasts were conveniently a buffet everyday and I had issues with their Dim Sums. The Siew Mai (Chinese meat dumplings) could be used as a ball replacement in a squash game and it could outlast the best squash ball ever made to last. The bacon was overdone tasting and having a texture like beef jerky. The rest of the spread were fine, I gave my thumbs 85% up on Cha Da food and 100% on the attentiveness and politeness of staffs.

Koh Lanta Yai is a very long island with about three large stretches of beach westwards for one to explore. This trip for me, no car rental. I am having a very bad economic crisis in my wallet and the GDP in my bank account is negative. So I spent my days only in the resort and the town called Sala Dan just a kilometer or two away. The sandy beaches front of Cha Da big and wide, the sand however not at all white. I was greeted by the color brown, to be stirred into a Milo shake as the sea broke the shore. The water ain’t clear on Lanata, it was definitely not Nai Harn of Phuket.

Though this ain’t no Phuket, the Farangs still flocked there in hordes, it was Swedish galore at Cha Da. I had no idea what’s with their country, but it seemed to me they are in a hurry to breed and over take the world. The Swedish occupation of Cha Da involved about 90% families with two to three screaming toddlers. The morning breakfast in the dining hall was more like a nursery gone wrong. Of the hundred or so occupancy, there were only three Thai clusters inclusive of me.

I turn my head to the east, I see screaming toddlers to my side,
I turn my head to the west, still the toddlers in sight,
So I turn my head to the north, want to purchase a pill called cyanide….

Just a joke about the cyanide thing… he he. Anyways, I asked the reception what’s with the Swedish spawning season. Was informed Cha Da had always been Swede occupied most of the time. There is a big agency in Sweden promoting the resort as a family destination with heaps of kiddy activities while the parents romance their time away. On everyday in the pool clad paradise, I saw different white rabbit or orange kola mascots entertaining the screaming sound machine toddlers so invasive to the chirps of birds and soothing sounds of breaking waves.

As I walked in the violet evening light in Sala Dan seeking out fresh seafood, Farangs, more Farangs and so many more Farangs. Strange it is how there exist hidden zoning factions in Thailand, like Bang Sean is mainly for Thais, but Pattaya will all be Farangs. Lanta? At least for the part I was in north west – Farang’s Zone.

To get around from Cha Da, there were “two rows” parked waiting front of the hotel. It cost 50 Baht per pax standard to get to the nearest town of Sala Dan. It cost only 40 Baht for Thais to get back.

And what breed of taxis were on Lanta? That of which was made of motorcycle with a passenger carrying rack woven together on a third wheel. Between clicks of gear change, the sun basked mid twenties driver told us about the upcoming Songkran, which will last only a day compared to Bangkok’s one week of wet t-shirts and wild fun. This is Muslim island he said, and Muslim not like wet and wild, Allah not like. The driver said he rents his service out for three hours at 300 Baht, one giant tank of water and maybe up to three Farangs. Around the towns he will go, as the Farang will play the Songkran.

And so I spent a 3 nights in Cha Da like any typical Asian, while the Farangs I knew from conversations heard had been there a whole 2 weeks and some even more. How you Farangs managed it I envy so much, as I believe yours will be a true holiday compared to the short Asian try-to-pack-everything-in-4-days style of travel. We Asians often end up more tired after a holiday then a working week. We don’t have the privilege of time-off-work on our hands like you do, we could only envy. However this trip round I lazed like you do (actually crisis in wallet) and I got to really rest my mind just waddling around the pool and doing nothing compared to how I would normally set off on exploration and cataloging the Island like the first man from the sea do. I had rested a plenty and am now back in Bangkok, my working holiday continues, the stress from bad business I am not immune.

These are the Emerald Suites, nothing much to them, no pool access.

Pool access rooms, otherwise known as Gold Suite.

I have heard of Crop Circles… but never heard of Crab Circles. The whole beach was just full of them.

A fat village cat in Sala Dan.

An island south of Koh Lanta I visited known as Koh Rok. Will blog about it soon.

Click here for full photo sets under Lazing in Lanta Mar 2009.

Romancing the 9 Temples

2009-02-09T17:27:00.002+07:00

9th Feb 2009 a holiday. Something Buddha come down from sky day again. This weekend, many Thais took to the streets to Tamboon. Like when buying cars, Thais will go full option where possible with all the fog lights, leather seats, navigation, 18 inch wheels and what not. This holiday period, Thais does a full option Tamboon. To pray at any selected 9 temples. Why 9 I asked, why are Thais so fascinated by the number 9. 9 is the biggest number before 0. 9 is the biggest. Must thus be 9 temples the Thais will visit, 9 big number equals good number.

We did a visit of 9 temples with lunch at the floating market. An unusual Tamboon compared to my office staffs driving up to Ayutthaya in a car, gig, family and all the moo barn folks had ours by boat. We “mao-ler”, or in other words, engaged one of those river Taxis all to ourselves for the pilgrimage which started at 7 in the morning.

Getting on and off the piers is an everyday thing to some here. Old as they are the senior citizens, they jumped from jetty to ship without falling into the brown Chaopaya. The river Taxis, all part of life for them, bet your grandma can’t do that, not to mention, do that for like 20 times in one day.

Walk, more walks, and some climbs. Wat Arun was steep and to some it could have been Everest. Steps so steep, I was prepared to see the Koreans on their tour cartwheel a couple of times off the sides of the temple. Of course, it didn’t happen or this blog will be filled with them injured pictures.

Fish, fishes and more fish. Everywhere there’s a temple, the rivers were just teaming with them. Feed and we all fed, the catfish so big and fat.

Rub them trees, rubba rub rub till the barks reveal them numbers for your Lottery. The old folks gathered as the playful kid rubbed. I was on a high ledge photographing, the kid came up to me and asked of me to pray to the tree, the numbers he cannot see, the blame he put on me. Diligently I obeyed and the rubbing continued. Soon after the old folks started to take out their notes and pens, scribbled the magical numbers which appeared they did.

The ledge of any temples I was told, never to step on them I never knew. It is disrespectful to the Buddha, as the action is like putting your foot above the temple. Do that at your own risk if believe me one will not, and have them cats by the ledge mysteriously attack you like tigers, between your legs they rip out your pongs pongs. I prefer the cats to stay where they are, gingerly, I entered the premise.

One thing ingenious about Thai people, they are very efficient in space usage. Under bridges, along walkways, right in front of their houses, given any empty plots of land, they will turn them into some makeshift shops selling sporadic items or restaurants. Here on the floating platforms which are suppose to be piers, they sprawled tables on it and turn them into a food court.

We all know of Noah’s Ark, I saw the Thai version if it. 2 years ago when I first visited this temple, it was under construction. 2 years later now, it is still under construction. Slowly the donations poured in, slowly the temple takes shape.

By 5pm the day was almost over. I was reduced to a rubble of melted gooey puddle. Drained of energy, and my thirst never quenched by all the bottles of mineral water. February the hot months had began, my sweating does the overdrive run. 9 temples in a day by boat, the full option Thai Tamboon pilgrimage. I only paid THB$250, that’s 10 dollars sing (SGP$) for it. Thailand the land of a million temples I presume, the temples the burning incense fumed.

Click here for full photo sets under Nine Temples Feb 2009.

Public Pools Bangkok

2009-02-06T09:21:00.001+07:00

Here is an entry that exhibits the elusive public swimming pools in Bangkok. Finding one is a challenge for all signs here are in Thai. Looking out for one by sight is even tougher for Bangkok is like Sim City gone really wrong.

Firstly, it ain’t such a conducive environment that has the allure to pull me in. Does not have the country club feel. Notice the shades all dirty blue and wrecked by years of weathering. Why have shades?? Ain’t swimming a sport to get tanned?

It’s a sports club this place is. A badminton hall and pool rolled into one. Located deep within a soi, it has no parking lots. Normally quiet with only the occasional kids splashing about. The parents don’t dip, they chatted along the narrow sides. If you think coming to one just to drool at bikini clad girls sprawled and tanning, it just ain’t gonna happen. This is Bangkok, Thais can’t swim. Throw one in the deep end and they will drown. I don’t see no lifeguards around either.

Visibility 100m

2009-01-24T08:27:00.000+07:00

Right here, right now, 8am, Bangkok 24th Jan 2009.

Tripping the Middle Earth

2009-01-13T22:24:00.002+07:00

I see it as the middle of Thailand, a region covered by Phitsanulok and Petchaboon. These highlands lay between the two major arteries leading to Chang Mai up north and E-San north east. Not so well heard of as I was told, it had only grown in popularity following the stir of emails forwarded from one to another in recent years. New to me as well, I have found yet another hidden charm that I have always been seeking. A region that is cool throughout the year with a maximum of 25 in the hotter months of mid year. The drop in mercury to 0 with the formation of frozen trinkets of dew this season. The narration of the land told by the seasoned voice of the old man. I sipped the hot coffee between breezy chills.

Such a place had always exists. Land that used to cost 40k per rai had now inflated to 4mil per rai with the influx of the touristy hordes. Who buys the land I asked. The richness of Bangkokians fuels the property market I was told. I don’t see no five star resorts there… yet. Only plenty of high scenic spots cleared by the farmers to reap the money from the campers from Bangkok. And interestingly, not a single farang for miles on my trip. No big restaurants, no Starbucks. No Seven Eleven, and no big shopping malls. The driver told me electricity and water only came in recent years. Even now, for the campers on some well serviced grounds to enjoy a warm bath, they have to pay 40 baht. A fee for a bucket of boiled water to be laboriously carried up and down the mud steps, delivered to the small mucky concrete enclosure called the toilet.

The cold greeted an unprepared me dressed in only shorts and polo shirt. How could I know the climate was as such. This place is nicknamed the Switzerland of Thailand by many. Still she remained now as an undiscovered spot of paradise un-smudge by the smear of foreign tourism. In the night of 8 degrees, I had to bath in what seemed like water of 0. Whatever body appendages you can imagine I have shrank to a nano mass of something you could never imagine. Darn, it was really really cold. It was even worst in the night when I had to just visit the toilet to release water. The walk to that darn hole, I had to climb over a small hill. The 50 meters felt like 500 as the wind seized every strand of whatever pathetic leg hair I had. I could have just opened my tent, stick out whatever that was necessary and did it. But other then having a civic mind, it was impossible to do that in such cold conditions - cannot find.

Just 20 years ago when the driver was a child, the Thai soldiers were at war with the communist. Shootouts happened everyday. Friends and relatives commonly died in the crossfire. And so he left to find a life in Bangkok, and now he works as a guide bringing many back to his hometown. Nearby Lan Hin Taek, full of natural rock trenches. The communist hid there well, the causalities of war too many. A wall was put up in memory of those who fought, and perished. The echoes of the dead still lives among the fractures of mother earth.

The roads in middle Thailand is not car friendly, I saw Honda Civics naturally low scraping earth. It is made even worst by the so many constructions of upcoming projects trying to cash in on the regions’ growing reputation. When it rains disasters will happen. Mud slides and land slides of every scale destroying everything in their path had taken place before and will happen again. So huge the extent of these natural calamities that only recently, an entire village with many lives was taken. The driver told and pointed as we passed the tomb for many. The eyes only see the camouflage of new foliage so green and fresh. The agriculture so bright and welcoming, the dark mountain of mass murder stands in the short distance.

Drive there if you will, but only to your destination for your stay. Engage the “two rows” I would recommend, and have them bring you around this Khao Kho region. Natural attractions aplenty but die your car will if your own you drive, especially Civics. I had asked and was told that it only cost 1000 baht for the “two rows”, all to your own troop of holiday seekers.

I traveled with a bunch of old folks, all grandmas and aunties from around gig’s local very average village. I was the only guy in the van excluding the driver. Where were the husbands and the men of the family? All gone by now, not dead but with the other woman. They were corny as hell as usual. I told them I did not have a good sleep, the ground was hard. They missed the word ground on purpose and commented how did I get hard? The night was so cold, they don’t believe I could have gone hard.

Tents at 200 baht per night inclusive of the blankets that so many had rolled in. Washed them had they I wonder, but too long I will not ponder. Mundane accommodations for two, but you can squeeze as many as you will in at 1500 baht per night. All lodging were inclusive of the morning mushroom and pork “kao tum” (boiled rice) made so delicious by hunger and the cold. No warm water for bath and I took the water from the same tank and using that same scoop as that used to flush the toilet. A holiday to be at the most basic Thai ways.

Not much more of chances at theses prices the near future to come I foresee. The Bangkokians are buying up the farmlands, turning them into an attempt at grand resorts which will be overpriced like so many other destinations already so. Farang to Thai ratio 1 is to 1000. Plenty of potential mountain wives for the farang picking if you ask me. And if the encroachment of culture with the cross marriages so common in Chang Mai and Chang Rai were to come about, classy and pricy hideaways will ensue altering the culture forever. Tap the potential if a rich Bangkok boy I am, but sadly I am no Bangkok boy and money no enough I am like many. Gosh… the opportunities in this land. Curses the shit job and life I am. Buddha, Jesus, Toa Peh Gong and whatever up there, heaven help me.

Full photo sets here under Petchaboon Jan 2009.

Last Cold Spell?

2009-01-12T10:24:00.001+07:00

It is January, meaning the winter months should be over. The searing heat of April will approach to welcome the next big long Songkran holiday that every Thai is looking forward to (Thais love long long holidays, me too). The past weekend had Bangkok experience night temperatures of 16 degrees. Me in Khao Kho, without any wooly clothes and totally unprepared in only polo shirts and shorts, was a frozen block at 8 degrees.

Just look the thermometer I snapped in the morning. 10 to 11 depress. As I walked around, the wind chill was even worst. Newspaper reported some areas in the north had frozen dew in the morning, and temperature is expected to drop to 0 on some nights there. Amazing.

Thais tell me, it is like that before winter is over. This could be the last cold spell, last burst of chillness before the cycle repeats. The heat will arrive then rain on in May and cold again as November draws closer. The land of three seasons.

Home Phu Teoy

2009-01-07T01:00:00.003+07:00

Relying on GPS to get here was a disaster. But in the end, I found this jungle resort. Popular and very well known to Thai people, it is a spot good in winter months where temperatures of 20 are enjoyed throughout the night. Accommodations of many styles are located throughout this resort all for the same price. Therefore it is wise for anyone planning a trip here to pre-tell which rooms are desired in order not to be located in the deep jungle units without good views. The best I saw was units 5 and 6 which exhibit overhanging balcony overlooking the meandering river.

Why the Thai families love this place is because anyone who comes here will be treated like farmed pigs. We got fed 5 meals a day (breakfast, lunch, tea time, dinner, supper) in different parts of the resort. This place is huge and the owner made the meals setup in different areas to enforce long walks (really long walks). His concept is that walking is good, walk and breathe the fresh air his concept. For me, it was more like hungry animal need to go though many bush, smell food source and locate reward. What’s laid out on the table is then what you get to consume. Force feeding only, no ala carte orders. Which is why for someone who really wants a holiday to not think or make decision of any kind (aka lazy people), this is the place. Just relax and rot, but do lots of walk. The meals were just normal, stuffs you could buy for less then THB$50 for two in the market. I am sure they could do better and for this, Home Phu Teoy is a wee bit overpriced if judged.

Two swimming pools are located herein, on opposite sides of the world. One sits next to the reservoir where we had tea time force fed snacks. There are plenty of boats here for anyone to roll or paddle. In the afternoon when the sun shines strong, it is good for a swim in the blue pool surrounded by all shades of green. After snacks, you could spend an eternity to explore the area and then be greeted by dinner time next. I chose to drive all over the resort in my car (aka lazy… but smarter plus contribute to pollution).

There are shows in the night on some days when occupancy rates are high. Mine was such a night. We were lead to the open air amphitheatre in the cool darkness of night before forced fed dinner. A 20 minutes show which I could summarize as follows.

Part 1. Big bad Jap came make salves many many built bridge.

Part 2. Bridge finished and happy everyone (except for many many that died). So celebrate with fireworks many many also.

Part 3. Farang send aeroplane many many come from sky, drop bomb also many many. None hit (aka idiots with lousy aim).

Part 4. Flash big big with loud loud boom sound. Then after smoke clear we saw bridge broken broken.

Part 5. We then proceeded to walk to dinner 10 minutes away.

After the meal of inferior quality, the night was heard with insects of many kinds. The gecko croaked loud near the table where I worked on my laptop out front my room. The environment was ideal for concentration and inspiration. I typed and worked away as the wild dog snooze away in a cuddle up round for warmth by the cold concrete wall behind.

This is an old resort of more then 10 years old. A very popular resort with the Thais. What’s my verdict on this I’ll be kind. It is good for a weekend if you don’t mind what’s pricy for the standard. THB$4,000 in all, a packaged I booked long way ago in April of 08 during the Thai travel fair. One more thing, don’t rely on GSM – GPRS – GPS – online Google Maps on mobile 100%. And especially assholes who GeoTag the location on the wrong side of the river.

Full photo sets here under Kanchanaburi Jan 2009.

Using GPS and Google Maps in Thailand

2009-01-06T01:00:00.000+07:00

We live in amazing world of technology now. I went to a resort last week and all I had to do was to enter the destination into the online Google Maps Java App and it did the routing for me. Drove happily on and on following the purple line on the map and it lead me through the jungles of Kanchanaburi towards my destination.

Note the keyword… ONLINE Google Maps. Deep into the mountain roads, no more GSM. No more GSM means no more GPRS. No more GPRS means no more Google Maps. Only one blue GPS dot – me, on blank screen. Halleluiah. My brain was as empty as the blank screen. I had to drive all over to very high spots to get GSM – GPRS – Google Maps. Further readings of the route revealed that some asshole GeoTag the resort on the wrong side of the river. Halleluiah number 2. There was only one bridge that my car can cross the river, 1 hour’s journey back. Halleluiah number 3. All road labels in Google Maps are in Thai, no way to change the language. Halleluiah number 4. Follow alternative road to some famous well known landmarks to get back on track, but was lead to off road tracks only accessible by 4WD. Halleluiah number 5.

Google Maps on mobile phones, I am sure Google can do better and have offline maps (please…). GeoTags by independent individuals on the World Wide Web, cannot trust. Lost for 2 hours in the midst of buffalos, cows, chickens, rice farms and roads full of portholes.

Cross the Myanmar Border

2008-12-23T01:00:00.003+07:00

Any Thai who holidays up north will normally cross the border into Myanmar. Goods priced as low as 30% that of Bangkok. DVDs so many, of good quality and superb packing. Bags of brands so many, grade A the Thais classified them. When going with girlfriends, just don’t let them know how much you have in your wallet. Sure to drop dead shopping, sure to dry up your money. As Thais they enter Myanmar for free, as foreigners we had to pay THB $500. As Americans with US dollars you pay only $10. US$10 is only THB $350. I should have had US dollars on me.

In the regions there abouts the two countries, exists spots of worlds without borders. I crossed them line a hundred times, no passport was needed for no one bothered.

The old gardener was lonely before we came, and as we approached in delight he elated. In a strange tongue he spoke and showed us much around he did. And proudly he pointed the direction to his village, a gathering of huts we could see. Nested in the distance greens, is his home within borderless worlds.

Where are the Real Hot Springs?

2008-12-22T01:00:00.001+07:00

Seem like every hot spring in Thailand had been “commercialized”. I had for four years now tried to seek out a natural spot like I would imagine Yellowstone National Park. Only in disappointment I had the result.

Of the so many hot springs claimed in Thailand, none are left in their natural state. All of them seemed to have been piped up. And sometimes one wonders, maybe the pipes tanks and valves are part of a huge boiler system. I mean with fake Louis Vuitton and such a plenty here, one can not help but wonder if the Thais could also fake nature as a tourist attraction.

Route 118 Chiang Rai

2008-12-21T01:00:00.001+07:00

And so having my holiday in Chiang Rai, the resort which I stayed was actually located some distance away from the city itself. Lesson learnt is that now I will recommend to anyone wishing to have a self drive holiday, do rent the car at the Airport. I had mine delivered to the resort and it cost me an extra THB $800 just for the delivery. Avis wanted to charged another THB $800 to collect the car but to which I refused. I drove to return the car at the airport instead.

Now, about route 118. One of the best roads I ever drove. In the rented Vios I drove, severely underpowered and not a car of my choice but budget constraints I had to adhere. However surprisingly, the car delivered burst of reasonable short torques at 3000rpm where I needed to negotiate the bends at speeds my mother would complain. I drove more then 600km in all exploring the area and had heaps of fun shifting between 3rd and 4th gears. Ascends and descends aplenty, long stretches were scarce. The corners tilted at slight angles, the rubber didn’t have to grip so tough. Fun driving, route 118 around Mae Suai. If only I had my dream car, an Evo that I could heel toe from dawn till dusk. In the light aluminum Vios I drove, swaying about round and round the bends. Like a sampan, for the very first time.

Suanthip Vana Resort, my Chang Rai Winter Holiday

2008-12-20T09:42:00.003+07:00

In the land where the clouds were on the December ground, I was there.

Winner of three THAILAND TOURISM AWARDS, I just had to go and see for myself. Nestled in the mountains between two cites of northern Thailand (Chang Rai and Chang Mai), basking in the gentle December sun and engulfed in cold morning fog, my winter holiday up north.

Huts of nature made of wood, old style roofs in contrast to that of the ceramic tiles. Every morning, I wake to temperatures of fourteen degrees. I made my coffee and sipped on the patio. The misty blueness of the morning brightened with every tick of the clock. I witnessed the birth of day in the exquisite surroundings, the fresh greens revealing themselves as the sun rose hidden by the fog sea.

They have a large pool, to which I know I will be dipping in if not for winter. But as I was told, in summer the northern region is not a place for visit. And so I leave the pool in her peaceful state of mirrored water.

As we walked in the avenues in the shadows of trees, the mystic blanket of mistiness faded. It was ten in the morning when the clarity of the deep blue sky was revealed. A sight taken in full with eyes wide open, my soul in awe, my wish that this could be everyday.

Our huts blended in with the flora, our foot traversed the hilly steps that lead to her. As I descended on the bricked path, there was a sensation of peacefulness that cannot be put in words. You have to be there to know.

And so the first lunch was served on my first day, to which I see was grass, plants and vegetation. And the other daily meals in our package were as well made of food for the herbivorous. Then I wanted to strangle my gig, when she told me she signed us up for “Happy Heart Healthy Body” promotion, to which is for one to detox in body and soul. I am a meat eater, I longed for the fish and chips. By the end of the trip my conversation with people I hiccup “moooooooooooooo”. Genetically, I was turning into a cow. Chemically, I was undergoing photosynthesis when under the sun.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy the package. In the morning when we first woke, room service walked the long garden paths to bring us warm “rice water”. To cleanse our digestive system with the claimed therapeutic properties of the concoction. We were instructed to down that before we even brush our teeth, it had to be the first thing we did in the morning. Breakfast was husky brown rice with vegetables and the very freshly squeezed lemon juice. Fresh honey was served along for us to dose out the biting sourness. Lunch was mostly strange fusion of nuts and greens. The soup was strange and bitter. It was vegetable soup and I could see the chef did put heaps of effort to think out the recipe for which I could never imagine. Dinner I was happy, they served us fish every night among yet again more greens. My first detox experience, and I swear I felt the difference. Happy in my heart somehow, light in soul I was. After meals we don’t feel bloated and ailing of greasiness like on my other trips, where on reds and seafood fried and crispy feasted I must.

In the winter nights, warm flowing waters took an hour to fill the outdoor tub. To which after I soaked in tranquility with my head tilted back and gazed I did on all the starts so clear. The croaking frogs and the singing insects accompanied the lazy haze raising out from my shoulders. With the cold contrast of the surrounding warmed by the yellow lights, my world was then in a state of induced elation as I soaked when the deep night progresses.

Full photo sets here under Changrai Winter Dec 2008.

Trippin Beats in Darkness towards Thailand Balloon Festival

2008-12-08T17:36:00.003+07:00

Ah, keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel
Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel

The music I played loud (Roadhouse Blues), my adored Crystal Method CD I worship. 4am the darkness, up ahead the dense mountains. Exhilaration filled my soul, my lone world in my darkness only lit ahead by the beams. The trippin beats and loud decibels, the fuel in my blood. Crystal Method, music I reckon that will turn any road trip into a gratifying ride.

Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll

My Volvo hard I drove, the Swedish shogun heat seared through the cold heavy nineteen degrees air of the dark hilly roads. Her turbo spooling gently at times, rolling along the long roads. Gently her turbo spooled in anticipation of acceleration I command, and when I did, soul, metal, horsepower and beats became one. The turbo heard in increasing hertz, exhilaration of the drive. Pressed against my seat towards hundred and sixty, my world.

Reached my destination I did at 6am, Thailand 2008 Balloon festival. Unknown to many, but knowledge of this I have. The fields were cold, the wind was strong. The 6am conditions did not allowed for liftoff, and so all the participants waited. Farang a plenty, mostly the pilots of the basket to which they command.

Free rides for some who queued. One photographer I met told he came three days in a row to finally get a chance to board. Happy he was, like a bird. The air was cold, but the sun that rose slowly warmed the hay sprawled fields. The breeze still gave a chill however, the omnipresence of a Thai December. I loved it much.

One by one they lifted soon after, when the climatic conditions was a stable. As they rose in turns, the crowed applauded in appreciation. And in about an hour or so, they have all left but one for some reason. One that was of adventure, a single seat tied to the large inverted floating pear that was suppose to be.

When the balloons were gone, the crowd soon dispersed. Leaving the peddlers in bad business, such was life for them. The final day, 7th Dec 2008, it started on the 3rd.

No trip for me north is completed with meals in the steakhouse. A farm I drop by so often for her juicy best burger in my book. Fat… I will grow even fatter, the good cheap food in Thailand. It was my weekend, just another weekend. My drive, my ride from darkness to light, my car, myself, my world.

Photo sets here under Balloon Festival Dec 2008.

Rayong Clams, Big and Yummy

2008-11-19T10:14:00.000+07:00

No, I was not on holiday again. Just a casual lunch we don’t know where to eat. Along the coast of Rayong we drove, the thousand shacks lined the road a plenty. We had lunch, a casual lunch. And next to the sea on the sands we sat. The repetitive sound of waves breaking, surprisingly just another working day in Thailand. In sharp contrast to eating in the concretes of Singapore, I say Yipee yay yeah.

Samet Ville Resort

2008-11-02T08:39:00.000+07:00

Mention Thailand to anyone a few things will come straight to their minds. Girly bars, ladyboys and cheap branded goods – aka imitation. Now, imitation as I experienced in Thailand goes beyond that of just jeans shirts and other apparels.

The normal definition of Resort:

re.sort [noun] (r-zôrt)

1. An area where many people go for recreation, usually in remote and natural locations which allows people to stay over.

2. A frequently visited location with numerous activities for the customer to enjoy, good food, wine and all, where customers are diligently served and prioritize as number 1.

3. A top notched visited place for people to enjoy with luxurious accommodation, providing hotel equal services and a very good night’s sleep.

4. A place for people to re-charge their souls on weekends from their normally exhaustive working life.

The Thai definition of Resort:

Samet Ville re.sort [con] (ke-na-bluff-overprice r-zôrt)

1. An area where many people go for recreation, on Koh Samet beside the sea, THB$4k per nite. Equally expensive to some proven luxury hotels in Phuket and other parts of Samet.

2. A frequently visited place by Bangkokians for it is 2 1/2 hours away with limited activities for the customer to enjoy – no spa, average food at inflated prices, bring your own wine and in company of free mosquitoes, where customers (I) have been ignored countless times by the serving staff and customers (I) can wait 30 minutes for their order and 20 minutes for their bill.

3. A top notched visited place for people (I) to realize the luxurious accommodation seen on web is in fact just some smart photo shooting skills, providing the normal pump-pump hotel equal services and a very sleepless night in cheap mattress and thin cheap feeling blankets.

4. A place for people to torture their (I) souls on weekends from their normally exhaustive working life and to return to live doubly tired, feel being cheated and yet there is nothing they can do about their awful experiences. Especially true after complaining to the all ears reception staff who have nil experiences of dealing with customers’ (I’s) complain and had no strategy whatsoever tactics to soothe the customer.

References:

There will be no towels for your shower till you asked for it, in the middle of shower when you suddenly realized you have nothing to wipe your ass with. The towels when asked for, are yellow when delivered.

The dinner promised in the package with seafood and delicious Thai cuisine are but cold BBQ food and tiny boiled shrimps (10cm), dirty mussels (4cm) and a lousy bowl of Tom Yam soup (soup fortunately served hot, diameter 20cm).

There are many styles of accommodation to choose from. As to why one would go for THB$4k instead of THB$2k (2k still expensive) is that one would expect a more comfortable sleep. However, one would then realized 4k bungalows are units shabbily split in two my removing connecting doors and covering with a thin piece of plywood.

Resorts normally have crowd control with security guards on petrol to ensure a gentle environment in unity with nature. However here in Samet Ville RESORT, your neighbor could turn their units into a noisy gambling den. All the rowdiness can be heard clearly through plywood that one will realize does not entirely cover the opening. In the night once could peak at each other through the vertical opening at the corner of it. So, one can see neighbor’s girlfriend’s bosoms and compare shape and size to one’s girlfriend’s bosoms. Bear in mind that so can one’s neighbor do the same.

Since one’s resort’s neighbor is that does not have a civic mind for their thoughts had been drowned out by alcohol, one would then decide against confrontation and decide to drown oneself at the restaurant 11pm in the night ordering beer. Only then to realize the joint is closed and to be brushed aside by the unfriendly staff who will not make any exception in a effort to make one happy.

The closing time of the next door gambling den is then determined by one thus when patience runs out at about 2 am, by directly confronting the tattooed neighbor to ask his friends to keep quiet.

The morning hearty breakfast promised after a bad night of sleep is set in shadowy old plastic tables and chairs, with a singe bowl of foul porridge served.

As pictures above shown on the quality of materials in the room, these are low quality accommodations one would encounter in many parts of this Kingdom masquerading under the grand name of resort. Samet Ville Resort, an imitation resort one can give a miss to without regret, and one to regret if gone to.

Dining on the Phuket Cliffs – Cheap

2008-10-20T11:53:00.000+07:00

And again, why we should rent cars when on holiday destinations. I was on work, not on holiday. I was looking for a place to eat, the rental car I drove devouring the curves and slopes of Phuket. We stumbled on the E-San food shack up the hill. I had a choice, the concrete building with the fancy restaurant name that had the “welcome farang” feel, or the wooden shacks that looks like it will be blown down into the sea during heavy storm. I choose the later to discover the idyllic simple sitting arrangements hidden from view by the road. It was simple E-San food at slightly expensive price. THB$400 for three of us, as we savored our eyes did too. Just don’t drink here get high, will fall off the cliff for sure. The sunny sun, the shady tables. The view, the air, the sea. This is the life, this is my life.

The Holes of Thai Roads

2008-09-30T18:55:00.000+07:00

These are the things that make your wheel break away nicely in unpredictable direction. Road repair takes forever in Thailand and so, when driving on un-chartered roads you never been before, always watch out for the holes. Drive slow, or let the car behind take over and follow his pace at a distance. He could be more familiar then your irritatingly slow car. Watch him closely and if he goes airborne, brake hard. One fine day, I finally understood why their existence. I saw cows drinking from these water filled holes after the rain.

The Naga Fireballs

2008-09-26T18:26:00.001+07:00

From various sources on the internet:

The Naga fireballs are a phenomenon seen in the Mekong river - in Thailand (Nong Khai province and Isan) and in Laos - in which glowing balls rise from depths. The balls are reddish in colour and about the size of an egg; they rise a couple of hundred meters before disappearing. The number of fireballs is variable, being reported at between tens and thousands per night.

The fireballs have been seen for centuries and are most often reported around the night of Wan Awk Pansa - the end of the Buddhist rains retreat - in October, although displays have also been reported in March, April, May, June and September. It is speculated by Scientist that during particular periods of the year, the full moon will cause methane to be released from the sediments in the river. This rising methane gas upon emerging out form the water then ignites when mixed with the atmosphere resulting in the fireballs witnessed by the public. Mythological beliefs interpret these fireballs as steps for the Buddha to descend from the heavens.

Hmmmm .. very intriguing. I think this October on a full moon night, I will fart in the swimming pool in an attempt to replicate the phenomenon. I want to see if my fart turns into fireball or not. If not I will just make a lot of farting gaseous balls and maybe, just maybe, a passing owl will descend (fall dead) from the sky.

Hot Springs Beach Resort

2008-09-22T21:27:00.002+07:00

I was in paradise, The Hot Spring Resort in Phang Nga. A lesser known paradise north of Phuket but still, stunning beaches and tranquility. The Tsunami of 2004 had devastated her, but she was quickly rebuilt and restored to her former glory. It was not easy to get to this heaven as she was nested deep within the unknown roads of Phang Nga. A destination popular with the Asian crowd I was told, as she was mostly promoted in countries like Japan, Taiwan and China. The Thai holiday makers were scarce in this hidden jewel of idyllic serenity. It is the only resort that has her own natural hot springs, a destination to break stress and detune your busy life to the pace of slow waters gently flowing as run offs by the side of the emerald pool.

It was the mob season and so we read that many tourists had cancelled their travel plans Most of the hotels in this region and others suffered a huge dip in business. To me, it meant having the whole resort almost to ourselves. A normally packed weekend with only 4 bookings. A normally packed season with less then 10% occupancy rate. How else was I able to take those pictures with so little people in it? The normal buffet breakfast had to be turned a la cart style. The restaurant by the beach was closed for economic reasons. It was peace to our benefit. I see it as a small stroke of luck. The loud chats and proud talks of Chinamen were absent.

Almost all resorts in Thailand will exhibit their own special spa courses. The experiences vary and I would call them a good con for most. These so-called spas normally can be interpreted as ultra expensive massages fifteen times the price of a good two hour rub in the normal massage parlous of Bangkok, at a quarter of the expected skill set. But here, I finally found the difference. We had thirty minutes to ourselves in the hot therapeutic pool, bits and pieces of aromatic drifty bits in the water. With our energy sapped out by the warmth and our spirit drowsed down into a lethargic cloud of drowsy soul, we laid on the massage beds and enjoyed one and half hours of exceptional rubs, twist and squeezes. It was poles apart form the con type spas I had in the other so called resorts. You just gotta try it. The sleep on the night of the spa felt like I had never slept in years. The morning after the energy I had was fresh like the first rays of sun. Superb.

The jetty that led to the promised beach was there. The beach that was supposed to be was not. The jetty ended abruptly and so we asked. The season had been strange after the tsunami years. The storms had been odd. They washed the sands away overnight, the beach that once was had gone. But on some good seasons the sands accumulate, and the promised beach was there. A grand wedding party was recently held, the newly weds walked the sands that were present. The owner had wanted to show me the photos just to convince me there really was a beach.

It was a bad season, it was bad business. It was Thais killing their own business which was yet another trait of never thinking of consequences. As you work with Thais you will know by majority count that they have the inherent attribute of short foresight. This season the mannerism exhibited on a grand scale. This is why we have mostly foreigners filling critical positions in most companies. We try our best to pass down the proficiency of envision. I am teaching, they are learning, but however most are not. It was a great holiday nevertheless.

Full photo set at cllim.com under Phang Nga Sep 2008.

Downtown Thai Roads

2008-09-17T07:04:00.001+07:00

Thai roads are a nightmare for foreigners. It is very common for us to be driving in the wrong direction. Road direction changes according to time of day, bus lanes are opened to traffic from X to Y time, some lanes changes direction during period X, can’t turn left or right into soi from X to Y time, traffic to turn right at cross junction blocked, U-turn blocked, lane blocked, road blocked and Z marks the spot where you hand a fine to the police. There are many makeshift signs put up along the roads, especially in downtown areas. I was on the left most lane one morning behind a bus when I saw a wooden sign with scribbling at the lane’s edge in middle of road. Traffic was a standstill and there came the brown police, always in his fake Ray Ban shades. He looked at me and pointed across the sign. About 15 seconds passed without any brain activity within my skull. Then he showed his big eyeballs and pointed across the sign from left to right at almost 10 swipes per second with his index finger. His eyes grew very very big when I realized I must be doing something wrong and therefore decided to edge out onto the next lane. It is assumed by all traffic authorities, that all foreigners can read Thai.

Bus lane… one other day, again these signs are in Thai writings. So the police stopped me at the junction and the first thing I did was put my hands together and said in as lousy a Thai as I could “sarrrr wat deee cup”. He looked through my documents and then started shooting away that I can speak Thai because I have a Thai license. I tried as best I could not to break character and smile at him holding my “I England Only” stand. For your info… the Thai driving test can be conducted in English as an option for foreigners. Unlike Singapore’s Traffic Police Force which lives by the rules of “Ignorance is not an Excuse” or “I didn’t get laid yesterday nite and so I will take it out on you” plus “I got a big butt plug forcefully shoved up my arse now so don’t mess with me” or “ants are chewing my testis so don’t fu*k with me”, he was a kind policeman and smiling as he explained to me as best as he could about bus lanes rules. Coz… I had to pay for the lesson… but I paid the fine happily and he even gave me proper directions to my destination Hotel.

I now learned that certain bus lanes downtown can be used by cars only during 6pm to 6am. I have however, still not learned how to identify these bus lanes.

Traffic Lights of Thailand

2008-09-09T07:25:00.001+07:00

Again another example of – it is assumed that all foreigners have some extraordinary abilities to somehow read Thai. What the sign says? Turn left on green? Wait for green to turn left? Cannot turn left? The turn left light is on the floor? What??? Something quite sure is, turn left blur blur and pay the police. The police will tell you the answer.

Ok.. I share.. signs like these means, wait for green to turn left. If this sign is not present, I think you can turn left without waiting. Or, turn left right center u-turn anyway at any junction you want, traffic rules don’t really exist here.

Eco Tour Amphur Wa

2008-08-26T18:30:00.000+07:00

Eco Tourism, a trendy word. Any kampong hut that’s on swampy land can be made into an Eco destination. Sleep in the mangroves and enjoy the mosquito bites. Be in nature, donate your blood. Eco tourism, a trend. Seems like many Thais now that have really beaten down homes in their provinces can turn their place into a tourist attraction. They could cost as much as THB$1,000 per night, food inclusive (if you ever could eat them E-san food).

Recently I was in Amphur Wa (correct spelling is unknown, in Thailand, there are 200 different ways of spelling the same destination in English). This district of the Samut god knows what province is located just 1 ½ hours drive away. She is famous for her floating market, shellfish flats and Eco Tourism.

The huts on stilts, next to the river, in the night the water level raises. You can half expect the crocodiles to come by and tear your leg off while you are sleeping.

Sleep in the nettings, the defensive against the mossies.

The monks nearby worked their gardens, the morning air was fresh. And then the pack of dogs came and barked, and chased me away to Holland.

Plant a young mangrove tree, the highlight of the Eco Tourism activity, things that you do to save the planet. Suffered so many cuts the people who went in the mud, the hidden shells sharp like razors. Did I do my part to save the planet? I stayed on the boat.

Reach deep in grab the cockles, on plywood like surfboards they maneuvered. I stayed on the boat. I don’t eat cockles.

And we visited the home grown business, of palm sugar the owner operated. The weather was sticky, there was no single element of luxury. When I bathed the water stopped flowing, my head was still then a mushroom of shampoo. As the night approached I died of boredom, just what the heck we could do in the mangroves? So there was a trip, we rode along the river. The thousand fireflies glowed in a dance of mystic synchronism, I awed, we all did. Shall I go back again Eco Tour? Please no unless it is on an island, with 4 star and above accommodations.

Full photos here under Amphur Wa.

Cockles Farm

2008-08-16T16:22:00.000+07:00

Ever wonder when flying into Thailand and you look out the window, the shorelines of Bangkok are streaky lines breaking into the dirty green sea, what they are? Well, this area is Samut Prakan, where the river empties into the Gulf of Thailand. These lines breaking perpendicular to the gulf are actually gravel roads and bunds that encircle farms of sea creatures.

These are the crab farms, fish farms, cockles and other shellfish farms, I visited one of them. Roads leading here are gravel, so when it rains there did be a high possibility that you will turn into a rally driver drifting sideways smashing into the pond of a million crustacean forming the livelihood of the simple people. When it rains, especially during a high sea tide, the proper roads leading into these areas could well be flooded so better to drive your 4WD if you got one.

The farmers live off the land (ok the water). They go into the brackish fields and feel for the cockles. They net in their fish or they massively drain the entire farm during harvest time to pick their “fruits” for the local wholesalers.

As the men work the waters, the women waited the side. The seafood is freshly eaten, by steaming, by cooking, by frying with the smell so fragrant. But the farmers will never openly BBQ their catch on the premise, for they believe it to be burning their live stock, their own money. A superstitious belief that they all strictly adhere to for the fear that their stock will diminish, as the crustacean scream on the hot coal and be heard mysteriously by their herd in the water.

And what they do for fun, they swim in the irrigation canals. The current could be strong, but their bodies could counter the streaming waters. And to the pole they held themselves against, and chatted and laughed as I wonder. I wonder the saying Thais cannot swim, and yet I saw them waddle.

Oh strange Thailand, I discover you everyday, I sat smoking, the long boat passes.

The Fish Bridge

2008-08-07T09:46:00.000+07:00

Every town near the sea will always have Saphan-Blar aka Fish Bridge. Well it is not exactly a bridge but a jetty instead. But I guess Thai does not have a word called jetty and so saying “I want to go jetty buy fish” will result in them guiding you to the nearest petrol station called Pump Jet, or Jiffy.

This is Saphan-Blar of Ang Sila in Chonburi. The immediate sea surrounding is a huge oyster farm. This is where you can get fresh catch for your kitchen cheap from the fishing boats arriving. They have scallops too and you could see the discarded shells all over the jetty together with the rubbish stew. Thais are not really environmental friendly and they cannot comprehend the fact that dumping in the area where they eat the shellfish in the oyster beds where they farm is not really a clever thing to do. The folks there are like fish, breathing drinking and eating shit in their own shit pool. So avoid the oysters all you can.

Driving there has always been enjoyable, at speeds of 160 for near 40 minutes enjoying the power of your engine roar before merging into the traffic of Chonburi. However, with prices of stupid petrol inflating like nobody’s business, I am not sure how long more I can enjoy road trips like these as I feel the pockets already starting to burn. Petrol prices now are like in Singapore 4 years ago. At SGD$1.60 per liter. I was complaining then back home. Now, I am complaining in the Land of Smiles. Why did the land not turn into Land of Frowns with escalating prices of everything that was so cheap I don’t know. I am frowning as I pumping gas. The Thais next car still smiling, no effect. New cars flood the road everyday. I must live like Thai, spend all my money no care about future, want the car, want the face, high petrol price no scare me. Or yes go convert to LPG where the electronic idiot mechanics had no idea about air fuel ratio, effects of ECU on engine and drive cheap for $300 Baht per tank till your engine disintegrates. But no, I not stupid must cut down on indulgence. My name is Kings, but I am nowhere near a King.

What’s good in Chok Chai Farm tours?

2008-07-17T07:22:00.001+07:00

Bulging inviting butts.

Anyway, Chok Chai steakhouse is 200km away north after Saraburi. Other then spending most of your eyeball time on the guide’s lower distraction, you get to see how milk is made.

They also have a petting zoo there… pet the animals… not the butt.

Little Gems Beyond Pattaya

2008-07-13T11:27:00.001+07:00

The nearest beach party found on the mainland of this kingdom is about 150km away, south west and is well known. Agogo nudes performing strange tricks, famous Walking Street, nice expensive resorts, party till dawn, drink till drop – Pattaya, the commercial seaside town where thousands of tourist flock to per month.

I hate Pattaya waters however and am more of a guy in search of the crystalline. Just about 30km further south, you will be greeted by the town of Sattahip. The entire area is military run, so expect to see scores of barracks, military structures and entrances with always the sentries on guard. It’s a pity not to know Thai and not realizing that these encampments are actually opened to the public. And in there, you will find scattered patches of paradise.

Though the beachscape is not a pristine white, the inviting clarity of the water is enough to blow you away. It is surprising that the water could be so different just next door to Pattaya, which is murky. There is an island opposite where you can reach by a boat ride. They have bottom glass boats there to view the corals. The sand there is powder and white.

Don’t expect to find those luxurious expensive and exotic treatments of Pompeii here, but enjoy only the slightly overpriced simple food (for a Thai), the hut without air conditioning and of course the basic foot massage on the rental beach chairs. You can enjoy sail boating, canoeing, the banana boat and I saw parasailing.

Drive there with a Thai friend and he will be able to bring you to most of these nice short shorelines after speaking to the locals and finding out where best to go. Most of these gems are hidden and located deep within the military compound. It’s worth it and it’s not too far from Pattaya if you are already there.

I was there for work, but every morning I woke early to have breakfast on a different beach.

In the Navy

2008-07-12T10:17:00.001+07:00

If you say Navy, like how we say it (nae–v), Thais have no idea WTF you are talking about. They pronounce it na-v. Sattahip is a weird place. The whole district of about 300 square KM is military controlled. Almost every shop be it restaurants or karaoke is run by a military personnel. I go to the sea every morning to have my breakfast and let my eyes feast on the mountains and the sea. I could see the bottom of the sea and the fishes two meters deep. I consider these clear waters.

During my many nights with the bunch of admirals, commanders and captains, we talked many. Submarines, Singapore have, so Thailand must have. Asked if they fear some Singapore submarine is now lurking just off the sea planning a hostile takeover of all karaoke business, they said what they do not know, they do not fear. So, Singapore subs can linger all they want around the sea and land themselves whenever, to enjoy THB$700 per shot Pattaya girls. Fact: During joint naval exercises with Singapore, Pattaya is a must stop, with the Thai officers leading the group of Singapore island color wolves deprived. THB$700 prices… pop till they drop.

THB$700!! I don’t believe. So in the middle of the night, they bought us through a discreet alley that lead to the sea. This is no Pattaya but in Sattahip and the prices only go lower. And oh yeah, true enough discreetly over the sea, end of the discreet alley, we found a discreet fish tank business. The discreet price for foreigners like me is THB$1,000 but hey, for the locals its THB$500. Still not believing my ears, I sent my solider (technician) into war, sponsored. Yipee-yay-yea. Its true but the discreet session was only a discreet 30 minutes. To top the discreet charts, was that he had to take a cable car from the chicken coop to the rooms. The short ride over the sea cost another THB$20 return. Incredible…. Amazing Discreet Thailand.

Samui is a Sad Place

2008-06-17T14:13:00.001+07:00

Samui, a small island of joy as we have thought. Until you talk to the islanders, will you discover the local folk’s perception of this sunny southern paradise. Samui is for the broken hearted. A tattered relationship, a second woman in marriage, an abandoned life. The masseur told her own dark story, and that many have come to work on Samui from various part of the Kingdom. Just to get away from it all, just to start their small lives anew. Lonely on the island, a new job, a group of new found friends, and many with a similar relationship saga. And always the hoping for that unexpected twist of luck, of wedding that foreigner, the white prince on the Suzuki 4WD, and be brought away into another life impossible unaided.

I talked to a number of the Samuis, and many of the small resort owners have always the uncanny similarity of daughter or themselves being married to that overseas husband. Could she herself be that capable owner, I tried hard not to tarnish the sight by probing further. Wonder no more, the number of bars and their saucy workforce in the after dark of Chaweng and Lamai. They do their best to speak a different tongue. They live their fullest drinking the brew. In their nightly encounters with different strangers different nights, they forget the stories of old that drove them to their becoming. In their nightly encounters, maybe just one is what they need to make a difference.

Don’t speak, don’t listen, don’t want to know Thai. Maybe I should not have heard and kept Samui a simple happy paradise in my mind.

Typical Thai Family Day

2008-06-14T08:48:00.000+07:00

A blog from December 2007….

Today is a holiday again. This month of December, there are two holidays and one Election Day. Election Day = holiday. When holidays coincides near to weekends, many of them Thais will return to their local village, to be with the mother, father, the truckload of family members and the famous farm buffalo. Thais are family centric and visits relatives on holidays.

We picked up gig’s mom and her gay uncle for a trip to Samut Songkram. Its another province south of Bangkok. In Singapore, we bring parents to shopping malls, dine in posh restaurants. Over here, we bring them to the seaside markets and dine in the restaurant on stilts above the sea. Her mum enjoyed throwing all the curry crab debris into the sea very much. Gay uncle is still saving for his sex operation and was happy just eating the simple steam fish.

A relative of gig’s in the village has a water front house with her own jetty and dumping river. Life is simple here where average Thais are not surrounded by the many EMF emitting gadgets in typical Singapore. Many of them still stay in beaten down homes of which some are wholly made of wood. Many of them are squatters awaiting the dreaded day of modernization. Where do they go from there but the down line of poverty. The living standards have been elevating. The average Thai salary has not.

Extreme cleanliness is not of importance as long as there is a bed to sleep and a hole to shit. Some Thais have never even seen or taken the MRT before. They live in tiny circles around their homes and villages. Ask yourselves if you are able to live in these conditions. We are spoiled brats of society that need concrete and feed on a constant source of electromagnetic waves for survival. Molded by the city state, scenes like these makes me ponder what do they do every minute of everyday. Friends that we meet back home, at least we know they stay in HDB. Friends that we make here, only a minor percentage are that of our expected social quality. We should never despise the living conditions, this is Thailand, this is what we have to expect to live here.

Don Hoi Rot, the Bamboo Clam market next to the sea in Samut Songkram. Main produce of shellfish, squid and fish sauce.

Scallops, SGD$2 for about 12 of them, BBQed simmering in butter. Didn’t know Thailand produces scallops.

Giant Otak, fish, crab or mixed seafood for SGD$0.80.

Eat the roe of the horse shoe crab. I remember, Singapore’s east coast was full of them when I was young. You can find them humping their brains out on the morning beach. Now they are extinct in Singapore.

Giant prawn paste ball. Here they use it for fried rice. Rojak does not exist here. It would be fun to fall on one of them and smell like a walking giant lan jiao for one full day.

Millions of cheap seafood…. Thai price.

Now we all know why maids hang around open spaces behind Wisma on weekends.

Getting to Hoi Lot

2008-06-14T08:47:00.000+07:00

Firstly, I am pretty bad in giving detailed directions. I found this map on the net and modified it to show the location of Don Hoi Lot. Firstly, you did have to know how to get to Central Rama 2.

Through my years of getting lost in Bangkok, I have learned to ignore most road signs and to navigate by landmarks, the position of sun relative to earth at different times of year and the time of the day. We all know guys don’t ask for directions and navigates with a mental map marked with N,S,E,W. Gals however, are always better with zoomed in details, such as knowing at which particular junctions to turn left or right. However, gals do not know the orientation of the junction relative to Earth’s four corners. That’s why, always bring a gig or some female form when traveling. In addition, they can read Thai unlike us. With combined mental map details and arguments, you will eventually get to your destination. And… never ever use Seven Eleven as landmarks, too many of them around.

Get to that long road that leads to Central Rama 2. On that road, follow the big green signs towards Samut Songkhram passing Central on your right. Much further along this way, you will start to see the blue tourist attraction signs that indicate Don Hoi Lot. Eventually, you will reach a bunch of bridge crossings and the sign will indicate for you to cross the flyover into the city of Samut Songkhram. At that point continue to drive straight, do not turn into Samut Songkhram. Finally, just a few short kilometers after, there will be a tourist attractions sign that points left to Don Hoi Lot. Turn in to that road and continue until you see the sea. That’s it. Good luck, eat scallops till you drop.

I asked, why so many places have Don this and Don that? What exactly is a Don? Don, according to the Thais, is a raised land, something like a plateau, hill or mountain of sorts. And on this raised land, is an area of festivities such as a market, a temple or some happy thing etc. I like Don Hua Nom, they make me very happy.

i Holiday Koh Racha

2008-06-11T07:47:00.001+07:00

A holiday too wonderful, too expensive but worth every Baht. Pay peanuts get monkey, but pay a lot, get rewards. Having a holiday now is different from when we were just tourist. I have picked up the language and so that makes holidaying in Thailand an even more pleasant experience.

Since the people think I am Thai now, when walking into shops, they will tell me to look for a covertly located price tag on their products, instead of the one smack big in the middle for foreigners. When eating out on the island, the bill is normally 50% less then that printed in the menu. But not all is good as a chameleon. I have experienced Thai looking down on Thais. I am now sometimes seen as the disfavored opposite to a tourist packed full of money in their bellies, and thus got the “transparent treatment”.

The language had enabled me to chat with the locals, the staffs and thus really dig into the cultural, and the life of the people. The bartender was bored and chatting to me was a delight for him, and so I was delighted too when I got my free Rainbow drinks as he spoke of life on the island, the Tsunami and everything else. The dead bodies of ang-mohs were like beached whales from the sea. Heavy and bloated, it took him and three other people to carry the carcasses. Back on Phuket right after the Tsunami, there were numerous looting by illegal Myanmar workers. Security guards had to work from the first day of the disaster, stationed alone in the front of their destroyed watch. In the first few nights, no one dared venture out in fear of running into translucent apparitions of the red haired tourist moon-tanning on the beach. The guards had set up altars full of Buddhas beside the lone chair where they sat, and patrolling was out of the question. Be next to the Buddha.

The beach used to be pristine white sand. But the Tsunami came in and wipe them out. The sand is gone. The rocks exposed. And what is worst is that the dead corals now wash onto the beach by the millions. Paradise is lost but nature should grind them into perfection as before, in many centuries to come.

The fishes are big and fat unlike the other islands. They are bigger then both my hands put together. They followed me in swarm as I swam and nibbled on my toes whenever I am motionless. I asked the locals why. They said I am fair and that the fish thinks I am a very big piece of white bread. Normally the locals feed the fishes everyday with leftover pastry. That keeps them coming. But I think otherwise. I think the fishes are used to eating humans from the Tsunami of 2004.

The workers on the island lived a “jailed life” they complained. After dark and after shifts, they sometimes would fish off the rocks for squid. Squid of half a kilo is common and they would gut it and BBQ over an open fire. The meat is sweet.

The island used to be farmland, but the locals now realized picking coconuts for the tourist makes so much more money. The rice farms are now reminisces of the old island life, just pools of unattended weeds and mud that the buffalos now stroll in. The laborers that took over the animals are now but fuel guzzling red mechanical tractors hauling construction materials of civilization. The islanders turned to setting up local eating joints and bars for the 300 odd employees of the resort. Some went to work for the resort. This is a small island where Thai knew every Thai.

The Thais on holiday were lawyers and university lecturers. People considered within the higher echelons of Thai society, people who could afford the stay. My cover was blown when they use very difficult Thai words and I stared blank and give the Thailand smile back at them. They guessed I was from the South, a Korean, a Japanese, from Hong Kong but never a Singaporean who has been here for only three years and could speak and behave like them.

The MD called me and we had drinks in the resort. He is an old hero bird of 18 years in Thailand, and yes, from Singapore. I lookup to him as the live I will be in a decade into the future. A seasoned experienced man of packed Sing-Thai culture, a robust, dynamic diversified and an excellent gentleman. We chatted, we partied. I died having not drank like in Newsroom Bar of MS back home for 3 years.

The limo driver was happy, and when he found I was a Singaporean jokingly said to me that Singaporeans are very good people. The resort owner is Singaporean, is very kind. Buys Benz for the drivers to drive in. He escaped the Tsunami for he was in his very fast and powerful Benz. He thinks Singaporeans are very fond of “mee-sua” and I guess his boss is crazy about that. The driver offered to bring me to eat the light noodle but I apologetically replied I prefer Thai food now.

The ang-mohs baked in the sun. The ang-mohs eat in the resort. The ang-moh walks tall and tan among the shortness of the yellow to dark skinned locals going about their duty. The chameleon walks both paths and lives the life of the people. The holiday experience is thus twice rewarding. I am Back to Bangkok’s chaotic work for now. But hey… I am still living my holiday.

Look under Koh Racha April 2007 here for photos.

Lets go Shit

2008-06-09T07:09:00.000+07:00

There is such a place called Bang Sai. Well Bang Sai back home means Go-Shit. I just had to stop my car and take his picture. Can’t help it. Too darn funny.

Hotel Pok Pok

2008-06-07T09:25:00.001+07:00

We normally use these hotels for a cheap stay over during our site work. It’s decent for a good nap and a shower. Of course, the original intention of the place is for others. Driving into pok pok hotels, the place will normally be of near total darkness. Then the attendant will eagerly appear like a ghost from thin air. With his torch, he will attentively guide your car over to an empty house, torch swinging excitedly. Slide your car into the porch, give the usher the THB$400 (SGD$16) and you have the room. In the next 10 minutes, he will arrive with overly size towels which are supposed to be your blanket for the night. I think the towels are not meant to keep your warm, but to wipe your eruptive cum when you are done with your bitch on bed. A lone bottle of mineral water will be provided as compliments. If you have arrived alone, he might ask if you want rabbit or chicken (in Thai of course). Rabbit means young fresh teenage girls while chicken means the more experienced older types. The toilet might have glass walls, depending on which room your take. A cheap attempt on a classy feel. It even has water running down the glass but that won’t be working as the water pump would have given up on live long ago. The shower head in the bathroom will normally be moldy old. The pipe will tension and swing the shower head to suicide position. Water spraying directly onto the water heater on the wall so you might get electrocuted when shampooing and the rabbit will rob your wallet and leave.

Translucent glass walls.. I had trouble shitting. I could see my workmates in the room. They can see me sitting and shitting. They can smell me.

An Island Not Too Far Away

2008-06-06T14:29:00.000+07:00

I held on the steering and became one with the acceleration. I felt the graininess of the tarmac as all four 16 inches of alloys grind hard via her soles of 50. As I stepped on the gas, my limbs were one with the block. I saw the gas ignite as it compressed and finally slammed down hard on the piston face fiercely on her down stroke cycle. I was one with the purr, as the combusted swirl chanced upon the opened valve and charged away. The pull on a fresh batch of potent concoction via the low tail pressure I left behind I felt. 160 on I went strong against the aerodynamics of nature. Purred on my car, purred till she roared and I was singularity with the experience. Tore on through the fabrics of the atmosphere I did for hours till I reached the ends of earthly grounds and be greeted by the calm waters. This is life as it should be. This is car as she should be.

So anyway, while all you guys were still back home driving at a pathetic 90, cops eyeing you from behind the lalang bush, friends with the mosquitoes, I discovered a secret island here in happy land. Satthahip. A place just south of Pattaya. It was crystal clear waters and white sand beach on a nearby naval island. A place just 2 hours away. Go again I will.

Thai aircraft carrier deck.

This is where they drop depth charges as lovely gifts to submarines…. I think.

Boat ride to secret island, no ang moh in sight.

Ride on glass bottom boat on island.

Step on glass to commit suicide and bring all with you.

Lesson on snorkeling and light diving. Do not dive with full breath he said, will cause brain to explode and die or something…

Island paradise.

If only it was beer.

Seafood by beach, relax de-stress finale.

Unseen Thailand – Thai Temples

2008-06-04T07:55:00.000+07:00

Unseen Thailand – Thai Temples

The Thai Temple offers not only a place where you can strike lottery, but also a place where you can eat and sleep. Great news for backpackers if you do not mind the occasional drifting spirits and the skeletons that they keep for show.

Thai people when traveling, often likes to stay in temples for they do not charge you, but instead accept a donation of any amount that you will give. However, it is not to be taken advantage of as the amount of donation given is inversely proportional to the likelihood of being strike by lightning on a clear day. In a common village temple, you get to sleep in the big hall with most likely wooden floor. The toilet is literally a hole and like most Thai places, the flushing system is a bucket of water with an algae infested floating scoop in it. Sometimes when you are doing your output process, a really huge spider will stroll across the walls or a giant gecko will be watching you like a pervert camera hidden.

Meals, you get to taste real Thai food, most likely in buffet style. The caretakers will cook and layout the spread on a common table. Just pick what you want and feast. After that you could have a smoke anywhere you want, maybe even join the smoking monks, but do respect the temple and not to treat religious ornaments as giant ash trays.

Some well funded temples in the northern region offers near 3 star hotel services. It is really a hotel like building they constructed. Run by volunteers and you sleep in rooms for 2 with attached toilet that has proper heating and flushing facilities. There is commonly a pantry area where you get free flow of coffee. You need to book in advance by calling the temple up. Most Thai tour groups stay in such places. And again, pay any amount you want. From what I heard, on group tours, the organizers pays only THB$50 (SGD$2) per room per night. It is most likely they will never strike lottery in this and their next three lives.

To repay the kindness for sheltering you, wake in the morning and offer the monks your service by washing up dishes, sweeping the floor, cleaning the toilets or catching that hidden pervert gecko. Once seen on TV, in Australia, a Thai person on tour went to a scarce Thai temple there and stayed over as well.

Things I never knew. A holiday that never ends.

Bangkok Bus Ride

2008-06-03T07:26:00.002+07:00

Just like in Singapore, many donkey years ago.....

Bus stop has no sign indicating what bus comes here.
Bus stop…. Very very dark.
Bus no air con. Not surprised.
Bus don’t stop fully so u had to run and climb aboard. Have not done this for 20 plus years.
Bus floor made of wood!!!!!
There is a conductor on bus. They have a magic tin can that contains everything. Coins, notes, bus tickets… and it goes clank clank clank.
Realized that bus fare went up by 1 baht. It is 7 baht now.
Engine very loud and big, beside driver at front of bus.
Got small little fans attached all over ceiling twirling round and round.
Must press button to stop bus. Just like Singapore… so this is normal.
Got no idea when to press button because can’t see and dunno where the blardee bus stops are ahead. So… anyhow press.
Bus do not stop fully for you to alight… so have to dismount and run abit due to momentum of heavy body fats.

Budget Village Tour

2008-06-02T07:39:00.000+07:00

A “Moo Barn” in Thailand refers to a village. Like in the past days of Singapore where we used to have kampong communities, the people here socialize a lot in a simple unsophisticated manner. Urbanization killed the unsophisticated human nature of Singaporeans. Although Bangkok is now a jumble of unorganized concrete and wooden housing, each area has their own hidden boundary of a kampong village. Almost once a month, some guy in the village will organize an outing, much like the Community Centers in Singapore organizing a budget road trip. I was on several of these budget tours with the Thai “Moo Barn” people.

First of all, chaos is an inherent nature of such tours. The bus seats are always almost definitely less then the people going. This is Thai nature. More people going means more profit for the organizer and any issues with seating can be sorted out with some simple jokes and ah-mahd-relak-jac approach. That means three people sharing two seats or some standing or sitting on the floor board and major seating re-arrangement, much like pieces of a chess game thrown all over the chess board. Being a spoilt Singaporean used to systematic treatment of every conceivable service in Singapore, this put my rage into 6th gear on VTEC roar and they had to persuade me to withdraw my furious request for a full refund and not to try perform an alien examination probe with my camera tripod on the organizer. The comforting thing to note is that on such tours, the buses are of a rather luxurious standard. A double deck air condition coach goes for about 15,000 baht (SGD$600) per day. And the holidaying monks always get the good view seats upfront.

Almost every appointment is late in Thailand. This is again Thai nature. So the bus started one and a half hour late and I am supposed to hold my cool and forgo the lost holiday experience time. The bus trip to KL from Singapore means perfect timing of your bladder with a single toilet stop on a 5 hour journey. Any toilet request is usually rejected by the lao-ah-beng driver whose excuse is a scheduled timing to follow. Thai bus trips however mean one toilet stop once per hour. I liked it. I do not need to enlarge my nostrils and strenuously filter the nicotine out from natural air.

On a trips like this where the destination involves rough remote roads to Mae Hong Son, there usually involves two modes of transport. The journey to Chang Mai was 9 hours. We had breakfast at one of the many rest areas where the restaurant owner pays the bus driver a “commission” for stopping by. Following a stuff food down my unawake digestive system session in the early morning, we switch to 10 seater vans to commute the rest of the journey. Such vans are rented at about 1,500 baht (SDG$60) per day with driver. The journey reminded me of the old roads behind Haw Par Villa known as juap-sar-wan (13 bends) back in Singapore. The Mae Hong Son road is jip-cheng-buay-ba-lam-par-wan (1800 XX bends). It was like traveling in a washing machine on wheels. Six more swooshing hours on a 400km road through the mountains. The view was exhilarating and at the same time breathtaking as the wheels rolled near the cliff edge. Up, down, left, right we went, I swore the contents of my scrotum were 15 percent horizontally further apart and more then 20 degrees vertically offset from each other. When we reached midway for lunch in one of the mountain villages, I believe I have achieved the medically impossible feat of swapping positions of whatever orbs I had between my legs.

We made several stops here and there along the way, all part of the tour route. Normally such budget tours will bring you to anywhere along the way where it says “Tourist Attraction” on the map. Occasionally, there will be the waterfall or hot spring stops but these are quite rare. Natural wonders are usually quite deep and involve some trekking. Not wanting the tour group to progress into a mass funeral for the 70 percent middle-aged to old folks on board, tourist attractions means temples, temples and more temples situated next to the roads. Those are where you can cremate any of the 70 percent conveniently, just in case.

Daylight means hectic 30 minute stops here and there. Once it started to turn dark, we were shipped to our lodging area. Now in Thailand, how you judge an accommodation by its name is always almost certainly wide off its mark. Maybe it could be the nation’s bad grasp of English. Maybe it is intended deception. Hotel equals compartmentalized and more then a single level. Anything standing on its own surrounded by grass equals Resort. Huay-Nam-Lin Resort (Pond-Water-Pouring Resort). Expecting a boutique hotel style surrounding and seeing the reality that this place looks like the old Institute of Mental Health 20 years ago in Singapore almost turned me into one of the actual patients.

And again. There were more people in the tour then the number of rooms booked. Village Budget Tour means free-riders, friends of organizer. Village Budget Tour also means more people more profit resource shortage and worry later. Accommodation like these cost only 500 baht (SGD$20) elsewhere but I spent an extra 1500 baht (SGD$60) to open up a room myself. Public extortion by the resort owner. It was way too expensive for this Huay-Nam-MyAss Resort but I really do not want to sleep in the tour-packaged non-air-conditioned longhouse with 10 other strangers. I do not want a shared toilet that lights goes out without warning. And I really do not want to share a bed with some uncle because there was shortage.

We were served dinner in Styrofoam boxes and water was bottled. And they turned the water supply off at 10pm without warning me, a sweaty meatball not bathed. Resort my ass. But hey, get used to it. This is Thailand. So I spend the night bathing out from the water used to flush the toilet bowl. The meteor shower in the night sky soothed my ridiculed dignity. Welcome to Thailand, I told myself, a land where unimaginable holiday service is possible.

Photos - Here under Mae Hong Son

Thai Village Encounter – Death Anniversary

2008-06-01T14:22:00.001+07:00

Gig (gig is a Thai thing) asked me to go with her to some isolated strange out of this world province where her relatives are for a “festival”. And so I agreed.

Drove 5 hours in me Volvo, following a busload of aunties to finally reach a village. Was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by scorched farms (because of drought), cows, buffalos, chickens and all the things u can find in Babe the movie. Temperatures soared high as usual, and me perspiring in my underpants.

Then came a very colorful village lorry, those that are powered by a lawnmower and which hogs up single lane roads real well. The mechanical snail was fully loaded with amplifiers, drums, guitars, electric generators and all that seem to come from another parallel dimension. It parked outside the house. And at about 4pm, three kampong teens clad in bright orange boarded and started what sounded like Guns & Roses gone really really really bad. Those sharp strange melodic tones woke me out of my wobbly melt in the sun mode instantly. They call it E-San music and apparently it is very popular in the rural areas. U can even get to see their MTVs on TV. It is song and dance from another age.

Then came along an old guy, reeking of bad alcohol, and he started dancing and terrifying a toddler that was initially standing in front, amazed by the band. I thought it was strange, but what followed was even more alien. Aunties came out of the house and people from the village emerged and followed. Soon, the whole road was filled with about 200 dancing souls of all ages. All seemed to be hypnotized by the tune and in a state of trance, hands performed twirling motions and bodies swinging in rhythm. My jaw was then reaching the floor as I stared with bewilderment.

The procession started and they danced, transverse the road for a good few kilometers as I followed and snapped away on my Canon. In front of the crowd, leading, was an aged woman, hugging a grayed photo of an old man. And so I realized, this was a death anniversary of my gig’s grandfather.

They reached the village entrance, passed what look like small white church with a high chimney, and proceed onto the main road blocking traffic and all. They didn’t care. I asked what the small house was and got replied they burned dead people in there. They have personal village crematoriums.

Occasionally there were oncoming traffic but they had no choice but to slow and ginger their way through the crowd. Men, women, children, all dancing to music so loud u can hear in the next village. Some were already drunk from downing beer as they danced. Village law enforcers holding crude wooden batons were out patrolling and keeping order. It was rowdy and raunchy. Fireworks were let off interrupting Guns & Roses from time to time. Sweets and money were strewn high into the air, falling on a crowd of children who scrambled for them.

It went on forever, and after one and a half hour, gig’s mother came in a van and said she was going to visit some relatives in the next village. We boarded and sat behind on a truck that followed, leaving the procession behind.

Droved passed farms, rivers, and dams till we reached our destination. This village produces silk cloth. They grew particular tress which leaves serves as food for the silk worms in their wooden hut and almost every house has a weaving machine made out of wood in them. As they talked and I wondered around, one of the relatives plucked some really strange fruit from a tree and ate it. Gig came and did the same, but shoved it into my mouth instead. And soon, she was plucking different crop from different trees, all shoved into my mouth. I was afraid to offend the relatives and so I consumed. They tasted sweet on the inside, but I did have to overcome the taste of dust, mud and maybe even insecticide from the exterior first. No joke… u can taste mud on first bite. I did not wanted to eat I am not an overgrown silkworm.

After sundown, we returned to the village. The procession was over, the musical lorry parked outside the house. But, the band was still playing, and people were still dancing. They never got tired. Had dinner, went to a temple next door which strangely had an open-air cinema set up. People swarmed in from surrounding villages for the event.

Power failure - whole village in chaos. Guns & Roses stopped. People under the influence displeasured and began creating trouble. More villagers whom held crude wooden batons beefed up security. Drunken motorcyclist arrested and held in custody in house premise (gig’s uncle is a police). Struggle occurs then followed by fight. Heard baton go “bish bish bish” and then suspect wailing. More police came and arrested two people suspected to be on drugs.

Power restored after an hour. Watched a Thai movie, sitting on the floor. Didn’t pay a single cent because families involved with this “festival” sponsored the event. Bought freshly BBQed cuttlefish from makeshift stall setup around the temple and ate as I watched. Guns & Roses played in the distance. 11 pm movie finished. Watched live Thai boxing in temple. See village kids as young as 10 years old thumping the life outta each other on the ring. 12 am, tired, go back home. Guns & Roses still playing to the crowd outside the house.

Cant sleep.. too noisy. Guns & Roses stopped but cinema and boxing continued till morning. Didn’t sleep well as cheering and movie was still on. Should be about 6am then. Movie stopped and maybe the boxing kids bled to death. Finally……. PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can sleep. 5 minutes later… Guns & Roses started. Went to the toilet and brushed my teeth with anger, cant get no decent sleep.

Procession started again and they danced their way to the temple. Monks came and they had their rituals and rites. It did not end until about lunchtime. It was time for us to return to Bangkok and so we bid farewell to all. We left for our long distance return trip, stopping along the way at some attractions. Guns & Roses was still playing.

Full photo sets at cllim photography.